Khloe Kardashian Is A Fake!

Well, color me surprised!

According to reports, Khloe Kardashian isn’t a Kardashian sister after all. Quick, someone call E! and tell them to cancel all of those crappy Kardashian reality shows!! Please? I’ll give you a dollar…

Apparently, Khloe’s mother had sex with the milk man, thus giving birth to Sasquatch here. Haha, I kid, it wasn’t the milk man, it was totally a Yeti. They exist!!

I guess Scott Disick doesn’t really give a crap about his son’s relationship with his fake Yeti aunt, because he’s spilling the beans that Khloe is actually a fake Kardashian. I couldn’t make this crap up. In Touch Weekly reports:

Fed up with the Kardashian clan — especially Kris — Scott has been mulling a lucrative offer to write a scathing tell-all about the family. “He has vowed not to sell out Kourtney personally, but he doesn’t mind talking about the rest of the family,” the insider shares, adding that these days, “he really can’t stand to be in the same room with Kris.” Desperate to be free of Kourtney’s mom’s “controlling” ways but eager to stay in the limelight, Scott is thinking that writing a tell-all could solve all of his problems. “He wants to break away from the Kardashian brand and do his own thing,” the insider explains.

In other news, doesn’t Scott still remind you of Patrick Bateman? Call me, Scott.