Britney Spears’ therapy consists of learning how to speak again. It seems that Britney is a bit trashy. Who would have guessed? Simon Cowell has hired a speech tutor to help the music star polish her prose. This is Britney Spears, Simon; she’s not famous for being the world’s brightest wordsmith. Part of Britney’s $15 million deal is that she undergoes two hour diction training sessions, five days a week.
We use the following lyrics as a prime example, “Oops! I did it again/I played with your heart/Got lost in the game/Oh, baby; baby/Oops!… You think I’m in love/That I’m sent from above/I’m not that innocent.” Right.
An insider explains, “It is important for X Factor judges to be able to think quickly and come up with humorous responses off the cuff.” Exactly like Aunt Joanie when she was caught by the police with the marijuana and the male stripper in the backseat.
The insider continues, “Simon adores Britney, but he worries that she’s not well-spoken and prone to word gaffes when she’s not following a script. There’s a ton of ad-libbing. And the reality is that Britney is terrible at it.” Don’t let it stress you out so much Britney; we know you do far worse at other things, like singing and sanity. Your dancing isn’t too bad, though.
The insider says, “Simon was bothered that Brit couldn’t get through a sentence without ‘um’ and ‘like’. She also has a bad habit of chomping down on chewing gum when she’s talking, but he put an end to that right away.”
Simon expressed his dismay behind the scenes at Britney’s fiancé and manager, Jason Trawick and after Jason didn’t believe Simon, he showed him the videotapes of Britney’s blunders. Jason eventually gave in and Simon hired the speech therapist.
This therapist is now “treating” Britney with a grueling schedule, but it’s “paying off”. The therapist is either on location or on Skype video calling when Brit-Brit needs to get her “like, you know, oh my God, um, I am blond, burp” to a more eloquent and polished standard.
Simon, we really hope you don’t end in ruins after the second season of X Factor and say to your assistants, “Oops! I did it again…”
Source: The National Enquirer Print Edition, July 23
Image credit: Zeus/Apollo/FameFlynetpictures