Demi Moore is planning to adopt. Wait, say that again? Demi Moore is planning to adopt, because her family has shunned her. Is this not the craziest thing since Scientology you’ve ever heard? According to Star magazine, as reported on Jezebel.com, Demi is planning to get a few kids in a line-up and pick the cutest one, but the sad fact is Demi is in such a mess that the adoption agencies will most probably deny her approval.
We all remember the sad day Ashton Kutcher pooped on Demi’s little patch of sunshine and cheated on her with a flurry of women. She lost the plot halfway through and is now more insane than a nun on a sex addict’s speed boat. Everyone hates poor Demi, even though the cheating scandal wasn’t her fault. Maybe she built up a bad amount of karma by showing a free screening of Striptease to homeless people?
A Demi adoption wouldn’t be the safest route for any orphaned child to take. We imagine her sitting in a room with a mural of her touching God’s fingertip, singing lullabies to the kid and reading The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What Can You Do To Prevent It? (M. Gary Neuman) Yes, we smell the lavender scented innards of a psychologist’s office before this kid turns 2. Perhaps Demi should rather focus on getting her life back on track, instead of acquiring a handbag made by the welfare and sadness?
No child should be allowed into this woman’s fragile life and we hope the adoption agencies will vehemently oppose it. After all, falling for Demi’s charm has sent Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher to run for the hills. It is true: Demi Moore will be starring as Medusa in her personal life.
Let us know in the comments below if you think Demi should adopt a kid. Better yet, why don’t we ask the Willis sisters, Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah!
Photo Credit: Diane Cohen/Fame Pictures