The chiseled face of Justin Theroux went sour cakes on his fiancée Jennifer Aniston, and asked her to cut off all contact with ex-husband Brad Pitt. The bride-to-be experienced disillusion with Pitt during their marriage, when the ex-heart throb gravitated towards the one-legged beast, Angelina Jolie, during the literal and figurative shooting of that over-hyped spectacle, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. However, Aniston was fortunate enough to land in the romance-novel-arms of Theroux and to be swept away by his everlasting abdomen and immortal facial features. While Aniston hasn’t seen Pitt since 2009 – he has been too busy at building a small tribe with the altruistic Jolie – she has kept in contact with him via phone calls and text messages.
According to the incomparable GLOBE magazine’s 3rd December print edition, “[Aniston] has agreed to stop chatting with Brad, bowing to the demands of her riled groom-to-be Theroux, a screenwriter and star of Mulholland Drive. Justin dumped his gal pal [of] 14 years, Heidi Bivens, to be with Jen and sources say he wants to be the only guy in her life.”
We do agree that any healthy relationship requires a safe distant from meddling exes, but Aniston’s past with Pitt is like our past with leftover chocolate cake – it growls like a demon in the fridge, tempting you to eat it at 4am in the morning while you wipe snot and tears from your Beaches DVD. Their polarizing Tango has always been the media’s favourite go-to-word for anything unhealthy; in fact, they even received their own verb – e.g. “Don’t over-Aniston it! He’s Jolie’d you already. Leave him and date Francois, the truffle addicted mime.”
According to a source, “She feels she owes Justin. She contacted Brad in Europe and told they had stopped calling each other.” Unfortunately, this move upset Aniston as much as it upsets us when our drunken relatives vomit in our shoes on Christmas. According to a friend of the actress, “Brad’s advice and friendship means a lot to her. But she deeply loves Justin and really wants to make them happy.”
Alas, Aniston and Theroux’s heavily publicized upcoming nuptials have caused the scathing tongue of the media to draw blood and bring their romantic empire to its knees. So, our advice: Let Pitt be, move on, and rebuild that mystical castle with sticky Lego blocks. In the end it’s better to have a house of cards than a heap of folded Poker hands.
Editor’s Note – look closely at the pic above and especially focus on Jen – tell me if she is not literally DYING to be appear happy? Justin looks like a mad monk about to escape the monastery for a night out on the town. As for Jennifer I’d bet good money that she’d pay a fortune to have not taken that photo – she looks like she is watching Brad and Angie kiss. Perhaps that is what a smile becomes after too much cosmetic surgery?
Photo Credit: Fame Flynet