Here at Celeb Dirty Laundry we sometimes have Kim Kardashian betting parties, where we bet on how many more immoral acts Kim K might pull off before she turns into Satan. Well, it seems that our favourite American horror story is not seeping from the ink of Ryan Murphy’s pen, but from the conspiring minds of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. According to an Examiner article, an insider claims that it was Kim Kardashian and not Mony Monn, as previously reported, on the leaked Kanye West sex video. Oops!
The anonymous Examiner source claims that Kim and Kanye were as blindsided as a stupid contestant on Survivor when the tape was leaked. They allegedly attempted to cover up Kim’s identity by pointing the finger at the awkwardly named Mony Monn. The question is, why?
Well, it’s all about “Mony, Monn!” Translation: Well, it’s all about money, man! Kim is still fighting her karmic battle with Kris Hump Me Humphries and will soon face the courts during the lengthy divorce proceedings. Kris has been searching like a loon for evidence that Kim was unfaithful towards him during their marriage. If evidence of infidelity came to light, the battlefield would be changed and Kris will divorce Kim on grounds of infidelity, instead of irreconcilable differences. What will this mean to Kris? He will be able to sue Kim for the last pearl in her collection and walk away with her massive fortune while singing, “Ding dong! The witch is gone!” Kim doesn’t want that. Kanye doesn’t want that. Kris Jenner doesn’t want that. This tape might just be the evidence Kris requires when he battles Kim in court, especially since this video was filmed during the beginning stage of their married life. This will be the funniest video since Paranormal Activity’s “found footage demon”!
According to the report, Kanye and Kim paid Mony Monn a six-figure amount to reveal herself as the girl in the sex video. Monn agreed (of course she would, her name is made of money!) and is planning to mix previously unreleased photos of Kim on her own Facebook page, so no bitch and their canary would be able to know the difference and tell them apart. If you’re planning to snoop, use our trusted advice – always look at the one with the dollar signs in the eyes.
Whilst Humphries is trying to bring down the Kardashian empire, Kim and Kanye are rolling around in their billion dollar bills (no, not Zimbabwean dollars) and planning to buy an alien civilization. No wonder the two most despised creatures in modern popular culture are trying their utmost best to steal Kris Humphries’ shine and tell him that “Beyonce did a much better job.” It is always worth a billion dollars in the end – the little guy from Austin Powers said so himself.
