We are not calling Kirstie Alley fat. Having made that clear, we wonder why she insists on obsessing publicly about her weight issues. Our theory is that the Fat Actress figured out long ago that her weight problems are, sadly, the most interesting thing she has to offer. And they pay well…
Enter Jenny Craig for round 2 in the Battle Royale pitting Kirstie against her excess weight. We are betting that Kirstie takes the round but loses the fight. The girl just can’t control her yo-yo. Yes, she puts on weight and takes it off like Rihanna puts on and takes off Chris Brown and Drake. It seems that Kirstie is back up over 200 pounds since slimming down while on DWTS. Nevertheless Jenny Craig thinks they know an opportunity when they see one and The National Enquirer kindly tells us all about it:
Help IS on the way for binge eating yo-yo dieter KIRSTIE ALLEY! JENNY CRAIG is willing to let bygones be bygones and help KIRSTIE shed the 25 pounds she’s regained!
“The Jenny Craig brass keep tabs on their former celebrity spokespersons, and just like the rest of the world, they’ve watched Kirstie struggle with her battle of the bulge,” a corporate insider told The ENQUIRER.
“They loved having Kirstie as their representative for three years because she lost 75 pounds by following their plan. Plus, she’s so much fun that everyone loves her!”
Still, the company replaced Kirstie with sexy Valerie Bertinelli. The former “Cheers” star fired back by developing her own weight-loss program and line of products, and she claimed to have dropped to a svelte 140 pounds after her stint on “Dancing with the Stars.”
“Kirstie eats when she’s under pressure, and that’s exactly what she was doing while trying to finish her memoir,” a source close to her told The ENQUIRER.
“She’s a classic binge eater and she can pack on the pounds faster than anyone. Kirstie is her own worst enemy – she knows she’s fat and she hates herself for it, but that just makes her eat more. It’s a vicious cycle.”
Kirstie is set to rake in more money and Jenny Craig can proudly say that they never give up on anyone… as long as they can afford their program! The idea that people would model anything about themselves based upon Kirstie Alley mystifies me. Kirstie is a member in good standing of a notorious cult – The Church of Scientology – and while this doesn’t disqualify her as an entertainer, nor should it, it ought to dissuade sponsors from considering her as model for normal people. I mean would you expect to see Tom Cruise OR Katie Holmes being hired to serve as spokespeople for model parenting?
Credit: Marquez/FameFlynet Pictures