Oh Lawdy! Break out the tramp stamps and the $2 beer, because Celeb Dirty Laundry is about to bring you one of the biggest fashion faux pas since Anne Hathaway attempted to be Voldemort earlier this week. The untalented Kristen Stewart stepped out on the red carpet for the premiere of On The Road in a transparent dress that made small children hide in closets. The risqué see-through dress covered a silver-blue bra and hot pants, but instead of looking elegant and classy, it instead looked like Satan’s poncho on those rainy days. The nasty outfit was rounded off by neon bright shoes, hooker chic legs, and a trampire smile that would melt the hearts of demons.
Kristen’s co-star, Kirsten Dunst, looked stylish and graceful “in a dark blue coat dress with a plunging neckline” that was rounded off with black heels. One of the premiere images snapped of Kirsten shows her laughing like a girl with the name “Willow Wisp”, but the horrific photo bomber, Stewart, held onto her arm like a dead trucker, consequently forcing the image to look like a visit to the local mental hospital.
Not only was Stewart wearing Satan’s haute couture, she was also crack-faced from the copious amounts of base spread on her mug like butter. However, in the ensemble photo of the cast – Garret Hedlund, Sam Riley, Stewart, and Dunst – Stewart’s pasty-face and surreal stare took on an identity of its own. Whilst the rest of her co-stars looked with-it, Stewart’s Back to the Future photo bombing parodied the pretty photos and made us weep in a 1981 Vogue issue.
Hey, if Stewart’s career is destroyed after Twilight, at least she’ll be able to sell ponchos, with a 100-year money back guarantee, to unwitting victims on an infomercial television special– breasts and terror not included!
Editor’s Note: What better way to get attention than to appear undressed in public?
Photo Credit: GG/GG/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES