Unapologetic may be how Rihanna sees herself and certainly how she chooses to behave, but there’s a growing roster of people she owes some explanations to, even if she likes to pretend it’s not so. She could hand out an “I’m Sorry” to everyone who pitied her when Chris Brown beat the crap out of her and to all the women of the world for taking Brown back and effectively endorsing domestic violence.
Then there’s the example she sets for young women that it’s okay to drop out of high school to be a lip synching stage stripper with a penchant for breakfast beer and drugs. And let’s not forget the couple of hundred journalists she dragged along on her lame 777 tour to launch her latest musical travesty.
The concept was Ri would take journalists and concert winning fans with her on a private jet around the world – 7 countries, 7 concerts, 7 days to pimp her 7th album. To me, this seems like a low rent ghetto version of Almost Famous. The movie was of course based on Cameron Crowe’s tagging along with The Allman Brothers Band – a band with real talent, while covering them for Rolling Stone.
After spending a few minutes with her invited guests on the first leg of the flight, Rihanna largely ignored them all – concert winning fans included. She reportedly stayed locked in her private area of the plane when she wasn’t out late shopping and turning up hours late for her concerts. Twitter and blogs were abuzz with news of the neglect and lack of available bathrooms for her massive entourage – but her team can’t possibly care – it kept her name all over the web – she was trending and that’s all that matters, right?
One of the embedded journos mentioned her profligate lip synching that turned the concert into a “MP3 listening party with dance moves.” How does someone with no musical talent become the top selling digital artist of all time? To be fair, there was no iTunes when Elvis, The Beatles or U2 were in their heyday, so that’s an accolade that reflects success only as the tiniest blip on the timeline of music history.
But back to her lack of talent: Rihanna mostly does not write her songs – even those where she has a credit are collaborations – not genuine writing efforts on her part. Rihanna does not play a musical instrument. Rihanna barely sings her songs live – she doesn’t even try to disguise that she’s lip synching on stage. She has an adequate voice – that’s it. But if she doesn’t quit smoking so much weed, she’s going to jack that up permanently.
Does she or anyone else remember what the sticky icky did to Whitney Houston’s once-glorious pipes? And then what the drugs did to her in that bathtub? That’s the path that Rihanna’s on – Chris Brown is her Bobby Brown – I’ve no doubt about that. Back in 2003, Whitney called the cops after Bobby hit her in the face, bruising her and busting her lip open. You can read the police report here.
The photo of Ri after Chris gave her the beat down on Grammy night eerily matches the police report describing Whitney’s injuries nearly a decade prior. And they both proved dumb enough to take back the men that beat them and you can see how well that worked out for Whitney. I question whether Rihanna will ever make it into her 40s – Whitney barely did.
At the rate she’s going, Rihanna’s more likely to become the latest member of the 27 club. With a little over 2 years to reach the benchmark for the infamous death club, Rihanna may join Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse – not to mention blues legend Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison - vastly more talented, but equally troubled stars we’ve lost.
What’s most telling about Rihanna is her choice of idols – and hers is none other than her Madgesty. RiRi told Paper Magazine she wants to be the “Black Madonna.” Congratulates are due then, Ri set her sights pretty low and easily achieved that goal – she can have the accolade. The only thing less interesting than Rihanna writhing around scantily clad onstage would be her doing it in her 50s a’ la Madonna (aka Pop Music’s Cryptkeeper).
But they both seem to have a keen grasp of crass consumerism at its worst, maximizing album sales with meaningless music and relying on sex, sex, sex to sell, sell, sell. They’re both pop star prostitutes with little to offer except for their bodies. Elton John called Madonna a “fairground” stripper and later apologized (not sure why he bothered with a mea culpa for speaking gospel) but the title was apt and will apply to RiRi if she lives that long – which is doubtful…
Madge’s only vices seem to be appallingly younger men and Botox – Ri’s got much more dangerous habits! If Chris Brown doesn’t beat her to death (and then get a tattoo of her corpse on his neck) the drinking and drugs will see her in an early grave. And she ought not expect the fanfare Michael Jackson got on his early demise.
The real story with Rihanna is that she’s a modern day musical Rumpelstiltskin, making gold out of not straw, but offal. I wonder less about RiRi and more about the people who’ve propelled her to uber-stardom. What are they thinking? Is there nothing else on iTunes they can find of interest?
And today’s big Rihanna news is the “leak” of her uncensored album cover. Pics of the Unapologetic cover are everywhere. This is singularly uninteresting since she’s not at all modest. Princess Kate’s naked breasts are interesting because she’s a classy broad that’s not habitually showing her naked ass around. Rihanna’s naked breasts are nothing new – who cares? There’s also been some faux controversy over the “leak” and whether it’s really her tata, but come on, who really cares?
Photo Credit: Fame Flynet