Dear Kristen Stewart, You, sweet innocent flower, are running out of allies. After that stunt you pulled in your Mini Cooper this summer (you know, the one where you were caught sucking face, amongst other things, with your director, Rupert Sanders) no one wants to be your friend. Why am I bringing this up again when all you want is to move on? Well, because you are causing a rift in the Pattinson family. That’s why.
The Sun is reporting that after a couple of drinks out on the other side of the pond, a dapper Robert Pattinson and sister, Lizzie Pattinson got into a heated argument. So what was the argument about? It was about you being a whore and Rob’s stupidity for taking you back. No sister wants their brother to be with a cheater. And no sister wants their super sexy, super famous, super rich brother taken advantage of and humiliated in front of the ENTIRE WORLD!
Let me ask you, do you know the equation for happiness in the home? Happy in laws = happy man = tons of wiener (from your man, not someone else’s man). Since that seems to be what you like, I would assume you would do what you have to to keep order in your home. Now, I am not saying to kiss your future in-laws ass, and ordinarily I would say your relationship is none of their business, but since you put your business out there on the front page of every tabloid in the world (not to mention national and local news coverage on TV) then you need fly your ass out to the Pattinson family home and apologize.
FYI: They probably won’t forgive you and they will probably end up ripping your hair out, but at least you made an effort. No effort on your part will mean no future with Rob and you will be free to fornicate with married men as you please.
I hope you take some kind of action instead of just taking refuge in your home. I’m dying to see if you can think of someone besides yourself.
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