Grammys: No Breasts, Female Nipples, Buttocks, Genitals or Brands Says CBS!

Grammys: No Breasts, Female Nipples, Buttocks, Genitals or Brands Says CBS!

CBS, the station that will be broadcasting the Grammy awards this Sunday, is very adamant that they want to keep the amount of skin and accidental exposure to a minimum. So are you listening, Celebs? Cover it up, tape it up, wrap it up with string! Tuck ‘em in, glue ‘em in, no slipping things! The network, serious on the matter, is cracking down hard on the celebs and musicians attending in light of some situations recently that have caused networks to question wardrobe policies at particular awards shows being televised during primetime.

The celebs love to show their skin, and shouldn’t they be allowed to do that? Do you think our society, especially where TV is concerned, is too obsessed with censorship? Who knows, but the statement sent to celebs outlining the wardrobe policy didn’t beat around the bush at all. It was specific and clear.

The letter was first published on Deadline Hollywood, who received the letter from a recipient. The e-mail is titled “55th GRAMMYS Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory” and carefully outlines the body parts and “curvatures” that they find problematic — if left exposed, either through slippage or purposeful exposure:

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples.

Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

Wow, strict much? What a bunch of buzzkills. I wonder what will happen to a celeb if they violate these terms? Will they simply be excluded from the broadcast, not featured, or will they be issued a hefty fine for not complying? Hmmm . . . . I have a feeling there will be a few rebels in the crowd. Lady Gaga perhaps? Pink? Nicki Minaj? Who do you think will rise up for their right to creative expression and free speech?