We were all queuing up when we heard that Pippa Middleton was publishing a book—not because the content interested us, but because initial reports promised a huge press tour, complete with interviews. Sadly, the tour was cancelled after royal handlers feared that interviewers would take advantage of Pippa and use the time to ask questions about sister Kate Middleton’s topless scandal. The lack of publicity has done serious damage to the book, and most bookstores are struggling to find a use for the copies, which aren’t moving.
In fact, some stores are forced to slash prices dramatically, offering them for barely 25% the original price! It’s all very sad for Pippa, but the negative reception has been even worse for Kate and the royals! Though we’ve been slightly distracted by the Christmas holiday and Kate’s pregnancy, Pippa’s failure of comical proportions has tarred the name of the family, embarrassing Queen Elizabeth and Kate to no end! In fact, it sounds like Pippa—denying it all the while, of course—was totally milking her sister’s fame for her own chance of literary success.
Unfortunately for Pippa, books with clever suggestions like “ice goes great with drinks,” rarely make the New York Times’ Best Seller List. It sounds like the only attention she can expect to receive from here on out will be related to her fashion sense and boyfriends! On one hand, it’s nice of Pippa to bend to the will of the monarchy and sabotage her book by canceling the tour. On the other hand? Well, she probably shouldn’t have written it in the first place. Her book was nothing groundbreaking, as there’s already how to pages online about the best ways to use ice in various drinks! Sorry girl! Will this affect Pippa’s chance at being a royal god mother?