Marinating in the sweat of anticipation in the record breaking London heat, Kate Middleton is somewhere stuffing vegetarian curry down her throat. The sweet duchess is sick of having to pee all the time, tired of her step mother-in-law Camilla Parker-Bowles’ antique advice, and fed up! with sharing her royal limelight with her sister, Pippa Middleton. Prince William is also nervous, but not about the birth. He’s just realizing he has to wait at least six weeks to ride that juicy Polo horse to smithereens.
According to Tom @Royalist Sykes, “Waity Katie” won’t be entering her royal bump through the doors where all the no-doz popping, coffee sipping photographers await. Prince William doesn’t want to have to go Kanye West on an innocent paparazzi. The Duchess of Cambridge will be quietly whisked through a secret entrance, maybe even the “Cambridge Ward”? What would be more royally spectacular? Notice the secret ward is near the flower shop. Flowers are a perfect gift for a new mother, or a mourning soul. Camilla Gorilla Parker Bowles is grief stricken.
George or Charlotte (according to gamblers), is the ready for the world, but patiently hoping North West appears on Kris Jenner’s new talk show first. This world is only big enough for one baby media piggy. Kate, meanwhile, remains posted at Nottingham Cottage on the grounds of Kensington Palace, which is close to St. Mary’s. When she goes in labor she’ll be near the hospital. I’m sure Prince Harry has ordered her some California Bay Area Kush as a push present to combat her upcoming baby blues.