Prince Harry is returning from duty. What does this mean, folks? It means partying until the sun rises, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and waking up with the biggest headache of your life. (Seriously, being hung over is like being one step away from dying.) Kate Middleton and her adoring husband Prince William are planning a kiki upon Prince Harry’s return from his tour in Afghanistan where he fought bad guys and kicked ass like an Expendable. Insiders allege that this little soiree will have more alcohol available than a bottle store in Honey Boo Boo’s part of town.
The 28-year-old party boy wasn’t able to drink any alcohol during his recent tour to Afghanistan, and New Year’s Eve was “just another day” for his team. He was sent out on a four-month tour to Helmand province in September, and is currently returning from this taxing time. However, Kate, William, and all those enlisted to help with the party – Camilla Parker-Bowles and Pippa Middleton – won’t know the exact date of Harry’s return. Seeing that Harry is such a high-profile person in the Army, and seeing that the Taliban want his head on a platter, his flight from Afghanistan and subsequent return to the United Kingdom is one of the Army’s most confidential secrets. His family won’t find out the date and time of his return until the day before.
Harry is no stranger to partying. He has been the “bad boy” of the Royal family for years, and also recently caused an international uproar when – before he set out on his active tour of duty – he played strip-billiards in a Las Vegas hotel room with a busy blonde. We’re almost one hundred percent certain that Harry’s latest return to the UK will give us enough scandalous pictures to last us a lifetime.
What would we do without him?