Bitches be cray-cray! The Kardashian family – most notably Kris and Bruce Jenner – are fighting like Mickey Rourke on a cocaine binge. Star magazine alleges that Bruce – our resident Mr. Potato Head – is leaving Kris to protect Kendall and Kylie Jenner. Why would the Botox Boy attempt to protect their teenage daughters? Well, shut the door tight – and let’s have a kiki. This one is about shock you like Outer Limits never could.
A source reveals, “[Bruce is] worried [Kris] might encourage Kendall to make a sex tape – and that Kris would be pulling the strings behind the scenes, making sure that word gets out.” Dude, isn’t that borderline criminal? Last time we checked, promoting a sexually explicit video of a minor is a very serious crime. “That way, Kris could benefit financially from the publicity, just like she did with Kim’s infamous sex tape,” the source continues.
Brucey does not want to be privy to this vile act – and we don’t blame him. You go girl! If he grabs the kids and gets out now, the Kardashian matriarch won’t be able to find him. But, “Kris is so upset by Bruce’s plans to wrest Kendall and Kylie from her control that she’s hired a private investigator and threatened to reveal his darkest secrets if he insists they split up. Kris made it clear that if Bruce embarrassed her by filing for divorce, she’d crush him and expose all his skeletons in his closet.”
Oops. There goes Plan “A”, Bruce!
However, don’t fear when Bruce is near – he always has a plan and Botox to ease your troubles. He responded angrily towards Kris and “screamed back that she’s crazy and that he was going to get a restraining order barring her from any contact with himself or their girls.”
A restraining order would be the best decision right now. If only Brucey could find some iron balls, get in his expensive car, and drive to court, all would be solved within a matter of days. Unfortunately, Bruce’s face is melting and he needs time to build a strong face before facing Kris. Oh, the wonderful faces of Eve!
Gossip myth busters claim otherwise, but we don’t believe in busters, Buster.