Kris Jenner reminds me of the Roman empire just before it plunged most of Europe into one of the darkest and bloodiest periods in history. You know that long bleak period that brought us such memorable highlights such as The Black Death; The Crusades; and my personal favorite, The Inquisition.
Well, Kris is the Roman General who truly believes in standing your ground and when the going gets tough, the tough get singing! Yes, that’s right, momager Kris is quaking in her Louboutin’s. Her empire is crumbling all around her. Her talk show tanked, Khloe Kardashian’s marriage to Lamar Odom is on life support, her marriage to Bruce Jenner is fading faster than his Decathlon record, and her reality show is fast becoming a distant memory.
So what’s a desperate momager to do? Well, Kim Kardashian already had her sex tape and Playboy spread, Rob Kardashian has his socks, Kourtney Kardashian has her children, and Kendall and Kylie Jenner are on their way to superstardom.
Well in Kris’ own mind they are! Kendall has already proven herself a catwalk sensation with her modeling career. But apparently, that’s not enough for Kris. Star magazine is reporting that Kris is in talks with BFF and producer extraordinaire, Babyface, aka Kenneth Edmonds to turn Kendall into the next Selena Gomez!
What better way to inject life into your crumbling empire? Take your spoiled and probably overextended teenage daughter and make her a pop star! According to Star, Kris isn’t concerned at all whether Kendall can carry a tune. Of course she isn’t!, this detail never stopped Britney Spears.
There’s Auto-Tune to fix whatever screeching the poor girl is capable of. But considering her sister Kim’s first and last foray into billboard infamy with the disastrous single, Jam (Turn It Up) in 2011, I think the world has reason to fear.
After all, they do share similar genes. I don’t know if Bruce’s DNA was successful in scrubbing Kendall’s free of the Kardashian nails-on-a-chalkboard singing voice. His estranged wife could care less. Kris is as shrewd as a Wall Street banker and twice as greedy. Everything she touches turns into the root of all evil, aka, that is cold hard cash. So why should this be any different?
Um…because shouldn’t you actually have some sort of talent? Who am I kidding? Kris doesn’t care whether Kendall can or cannot sing. She’s of the mind that many a pop star lip-synced their way onto the stage, so why should her daughter be any different?
Well, that’s what Kris is plotting once Keeping Up with The Kardashians ends its run in 2015. God help us all!
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
