On episode 11 of AMERICAN HORROR STORY called, “Protect The Coven” the show opens with a LaLaurie scene that takes place in 1830, she is upset she had to leave Paris and it is more than obvious her and her daughters are not feeling the love. Try as she may LaLaurie simply can’t deal with life in New Orleans, the chore she detest the most is cooking. LaLaurie tells one of her daughters to kill a chicken for dinner but her daughter has no time for that, and much to her displeasure she is left to do it. “How hard can it be to cut the head off of a chicken?” LaLaurie would like to know. Blood gushes out of the chicken, and as the story is for most killers this is where her bloodlust begins. When a servant cuts his leg LaLaurie goes to help but quickly and rather disgustingly finds her self fascinated by the blood running down her fingers, so she does what any blood loving woman would do,she knocks him out, ties him up and watches the blood leave his body. This is clearly a reminder of just how sick and twisted this woman used to be and my guess is that’s because she is back and about to get down to business.
Next we are at Nan’s funeral. Fiona is trying to play the mourner and gives a speech about how they have beaten every obstacle that has gotten in their way , and that’s why it is so heartbreaking to say goodbye to Nan….who fell in the tub. Fiona touches the top of the coffin. Laveau who was present at the time of Nan’s death does her best to seem sympathetic by throwing in a Amen, before a smile breaks across her face. Cold as ice those two. Cordelia tells Myrtle she has to do something before one more of her girls dies. Speaking of dead girls Queenie gets out of a car and brings LaLaurie with her on a leash. Fiona walks over to her and Laveau follows. Queenie voices her displeasure by telling Laveau she left her for dead, Laveau plays it off by saying she thought she was dead and goes to hug her. LaLaurie puts that moment to a end by spitting on her, Laveau responds with a slap to her face. Laveau then ask Queenie why she didn’t throw her in the trash like she told her to. It’s simple really Queenie had her own ideas. Zoe is amazed that she managed to put LaLaurie back together and there be no scars. Queenie tells Kyle if she had put him back together he wouldn’t look like he was jammed through a blender. Cordelia says the most important thing is she is safe, Fiona who has far more disgust for Cordelia then any mother should ever have for a child and talks to her like she is a stupid idiot and reminds her none of them are safe. Fiona then turns to Queenie and informs her she is coming with her, tells everyone to say there prayers because the funeral is over. LaLaurie says she isn’t going, Queenie shuts her up with a tug of her leash. They all leave,Cordelia is the last one and she pauses for a moment and closes her eyes.
Over a Hank’s fathers now defunct company he is mourning the loss of his son. His father knows the witches are responsible for what happened to his company. He tells his number two that he will pay them more money than they ever imagined if they will make the Feds go away and then when they are back in their feet he will make them pay with their lives. Number two leaves to make a call.
Fiona is on the phone and LaLauire is back in her maid uniform and serving Fiona and Laveau champagne while giving them manicures and pedicures. Fiona tells Hank’s fathers number two that the meeting must take place in New Orleans and hangs up. Laveau ask Fiona if she realizes they are going to try and kill them. Fiona tells her she is counting on it. LaLaurie in a voice over is telling about how her mother wasn’t very loving or attentive with her. LaLaurie is standing in the bedroom looking at Zoe, Madison and Kyle asleep on the bed together. Later she walks into the bathroom while Madison is still primping. LaLaurie tells Madison to flush the toilet, Madison informs her that she can do it. LaLaurie smiles deviously.
Later that night at dinner she serves them all soup, the main ingredient being Madison’s shit and they like it which brings new meaning to the phrase shit eating grin. (I’ve seen a lot go down on this show and I have to say this is by far the biggest ewwwww moment of them all.)
Laveau hands her the baby who’s life she so willingly gave up Nan’s for and tells her to change it. LaLaurie is holding the baby and trying to soothe it all the while Laveau is threatening to finish the job she started when she was cutting her up before.
Fiona is spraying herself with some perfume and as usual putting on a black dress.
Cordelia is in the kitchen chanting while Myrtle is complimenting LaLaurie on her biscuits. Myrtle walks over to Cordelia to see what she is up to. Cordelia made a green drink that she hopes will help her regain her power of second sight. Cordelia’s Gardner walks in with a bloody hand from getting hurt while picking Cordelia’s figs. LaLaurie is immediately taken by the sight of the bLood and offers to take care of him. By take care I mean she takes him upstairs, ties him up and then does what she has always done best she tortures him. I guess old habits really do die hard.
Zoe is in the bathroom doing a spell to find out who killed Nan. Kyle is present and accounted for in the name of keeping her company. Zoe chants a couple of times and then she sees the images of Fiona and Laveau in the tub of water. So now Zoe knows what happened. Madison burst in, probably needs to go number two again and ask if it’s a romantic bubble bath. Zoe tells her she is trying to find out what happened to Nan. Madison rolls her eyes. Zoe ask her if she even cares. Madison ask Zoe if she has met her. Zoe tells her Misty was right they should have let her rot. I agree with that statement on the grounds that I can’t stand her…. at all… whatsoever. Zoe walks out of the bathroom Kyle and Madison follow. Madison sits Kyle on the bed puts earphones on him and tells him her and Zoe need to talk , which is just Madison’s way of saying she is going to bitch because Zoe has Kyle all to herself even though they were supposed to share him. Zoe says Madison can have him if she wants him. Madison tells her she is a peach. Madison gets down on her knees in front of him and starts unzipping his pants, Kyle freaks out a bit the screams his usual no and pushes her to the ground and tells Madison he loves Zoe, he runs and grabs Zoe and holds her. Madison gets pissed and throws a Carrie type fit ,she breaks a mirror and them makes a lamp smack Zoe in the back of the head and she goes down. Kyle runs to Zoe and Myrtle comes flying in demanding to know what all the noise is about. Myrtle tells Madison she is the worst kind of Hollywood cliche “a bobble head with crotchless panties.” Madison offers this to Myrtle has her rebuttal “and your a dried up old hot pocket, but I don’t judge.” Myrtle tells Madison she can’t talk to her like that. Madison calls her carrot top and then welcomes her to the revolution. Madison tells her as the Supreme she is bringing them out of the dark ages and there will be crotchless panties for everyone. Regular comedian this girl. She tells Kyle putting him together was fun but taking him apart will be more fun. Madison lights a cigarette, takes a puff, drops her mic… Madison out.
Fiona is pulling her stalkings back up while the Axeman plays his sax. They flirt for a bit and then he gets down to business. They discuss how they need to figures out which girl is the soon to be Supreme and do away with her before it’s to late for Fiona.
Back to LaLauire and her trusty hatchet. Apparently in her bloody excitement she got carried away and ended up killing the guy. That will happen when you pull their insides out. I really hope this isn’t a ploy to remind us Emma Roberts was in a Scream movie because no one cares…..literally NO ONE CARES!!! Spalding shows up and LaLaurie is confused because she thought the butler had left. Spalding tells her he has been there the whole time. That he was murdered in that very room. LaLaurie accepts this as fact because she knows a spirit when she encounters one. Spalding tells her he has been watching her. Spalding tells her a life without purpose is no life at all. LaLaurie tells him she thought she had found a purpose (looks sadly at the dead guy) or at least a hobby but she thinks she mostly just made a mess, and guess who gets to clean it up the blankety blank maid. Spalding tells her he knows how she can achieve her release, it’s simple really Laveau used magic to live forever and therefore magic can be used to take it away from her. Spalding tells LaLaurie he will help her but first she has to get something for him and it won’t be cheap.
Queenie is back in her old room pulling down Misty’s stuff to put hers back. Cordelia comes in to talk to her. Cordelia tries to make nice by saying she is glad she is back. Queenie demands to know why she gave her room away. Cordelia reminds her that she is the one who left and went to stay with their sworn enemy. Queenie points out that said enemy is currently in Cordelia’s guest room smoking a hookah so my how the times have changed. Cordelia tells Queenie a lot has happened. Queenie tells her like your husband shooting me in the stomach. Cordelia tells Queenie to say I’m sorry really doesn’t …..Queenie interrupts… it really doesn’t. Cordelia tells her she is a very strong and powerful woman but how did she survive. Queenie tells her she got some more powers and right after shooting herself in the head she coughed up the bullet. Cordelia is now holding said silver bullet. Queenie tells her rather unconcerned that maybe she is the next Supreme. Cordelia reaches out and grabs Queenie and says thank you. Queenie tells her not to touch her. Cordelia tells Queenie her eyes are open and she promises to prove that to Queenie and the girls. Queenie points out that since she has been gone one witch is dead and another one is missing….no offense. Queenie tells Cordelia she is just as weak as she has ever been and that she might want to take one long ass vacation and let someone else run the joint for awhile. Queenie tells her to get out of her room….NOW!
Cordelia is in the greenhouse, she is working on a potion. Cordelia starts crying as she mashes some things together. Cordelia puts her fingers in it and then circles her eyes with it. But that’s not all, our girl Cordelia decides to kick it up a notch and poke both of her eyes with a pair of garden clippers. I understand completely, there have been a few times when I have wanted to do the exact same thing when watching this show.
Fiona comes running up the stairs in a panic yelling Cordelia. Cordelia finally has Fiona’s attention and all she had to do was poke her eyes out. Myrtle comes out of Cordelia’s room. Fiona ask her if it’s true. Myrtle confirms she has indeed taken out both of her eyes and just think it was some of Myrtle’s best work. Fiona ask Myrtle why. Myrtle tells Fiona it’s because her daughter has become something she will never understand Cordelia is a hero, she ripped her eyes straight out of her skull for one reason, to protect the coven. Fiona ask her from what …she will take care of the witch hunters and when she does this coven will have no more enemies. Myrtle tells her perhaps no enemies on the outside but danger looks inside the walls and everyone knows it, Cordelia did it to regain her second sight and shame on those who harbor bad thoughts. Fiona says that she has no secrets. Myrtle tells her to go ahead and go see her daughter and touch her so that she will know all of Fiona’s doings. Fiona goes to the door but then decides not to go in, she tells Myrtle it’s because she needs a drink to steady her nerves.
LaLaurie is back in Spaldings room and she has what he asked for. It’s another doll to add to his collection. It was made in 1895. Spalding is over the moon. LaLaurie finds it to be unsavory that a grown man is taking such pleasure in a doll baby. LaLaurie ask for what he promised her. Spalding hands her a potion that comes in the form of Benadryl allergy pills she is to dissolve in Laveau’s drink.
Myrtle is about to go on another tour through the Twilight Zone but first has a conversation with Zoe in which she gives Zoe her only possession of any value. Myrtle wants Zoe to sell it so she and Kyle can leave the coven and be out of harms way. Myrtle tells Zoe if Madison doesn’t end her Fiona will. Myrtle gives her two tickets and tells her to pack her bags. Zoe hugs Myrtle.
The witch hunters show up for their meeting, Hank’s father makes it clear that Fiona and Laveau have to walk out unharmed. They enter a conference room. Shortly after Fiona and Marie walk in. “What, no weapons?” Fiona laughs and reminds Hank’s father that . “ I took down your entire company with about as much effort as it takes me to mix myself a Rob Roy. And Marie…. Marie is immortal for Christ’s sake. And you think we’re worried about guns?” Fiona then ask the waiter to make her a drink, a martini, filthy. Laveau will take a Sprite of the diet variety.
They start the meeting and attempt to come to terms. Hank’s father shoots down the suggestion that they can quit their witch hunting forever or they can all die. Hank and company laugh at Fiona. The bartender turns out to be the Axeman who takes everyone of the hunters down….. with a axe naturally.Hank’s father is last. Fiona gets the honor of chopping his head off. All the witch hunters are dead. Well all the ones that were there anyway. Fiona goes over to the Axeman, martini in hand and they kiss.
Fiona and Laveau are in the kitchen having a glass of bubbly in celebration. Fiona toast to them being friends till the end and they clink glasses. Fiona leaves to go reward the Axeman. LaLaurie helps her with her coat. Laveau heads upstairs and LaLaurie follows. Laveau tells her to leave the drink and go. LaLaurie tells her she will leave when she is finished. Guess she doesn’t know how long it takes Benadryl to kick in. Laveau smacks her on the butt and tells her to leave again. LaLaurie pulls out a butcher knife. She stabs Laveau in the chest. Laveau yells and then pulls the knife out. LaLaurie starts to run and Laveau follows. Spaldomg smacks Laveau on the back of the head with a doll and she tumbles down the stairs and lands at LaLaurie’s feet. LaLaurie ask Spalding what she is supposed to do with her. Spalding tells her to bury her and make sure she can’t get out.
Spalding is up in the attic dressed up like a doll …again. Spalding has the baby and he has it dressed up to. He sits down in a rocker with it.
Zoe is in her room packing and tells Kyle not to forget his toothbrush. While Zoe continues to run around Kyle sits on her bed looking sad. Kyle tells Zoe he isn’t going, that he is afraid that he might hurt Zoe or someone else, that he has all these feelings inside of him that he can’t control. Kyle starts crying. Zoe sits next to him in the bed and touches him and whispers to him, he turns around puts his hands in her face and kisses her on the nose.
Zoe and Kyle are running to make it on time. They get to the bus just in time. They are headed to Orlando.
THE END!!
If you want a sneak peek video & synopsis of the next episode of American Horror Story, “Go To Hell” which airs on Wednesday, January 22, 2014 at 10 PM EST on FX check out the preview of episode 12 below! American Horror Story: Coven is written by Jennifer Salt and directed by Bradley Buecker.
“A dying Fiona will become even more desperate to find and destroy the new Supreme, but will also wonder if she should give it up and just enjoy her final days. As the time approaches for the new Supreme to demonstrate the Seven Wonders, a dangerous ritual will prove the Supreme’s ability to master seven magical powers. More than one of the remaining girls will begin to manifest multiple new powers.”
Misty Day (who was buried alive by Madison) and Zoe (who fled the Coven on orders from Myrtle) will be coming back too. But things won’t be getting any easier.
