There is no bigger proof that Jennifer Aniston still regularly gets baked than her most recent comments about Justin Theroux‘s shoot for Details Magazine. At a dinner for the Details shoot, Jennifer spoke to the press about how Justin shoots rainbows out of his eyeballs and farts unicorn dust.
Ok, she didn’t exactly use those words, but her actual words weren’t that far off. She praised Justin for his ‘courage’ in doing the Details shoot, because apparently taking off your shirt and posing for a magazine requires some major personal sacrifice on his part.
However, things didn’t get funny until Jennifer started praising Justin’s eyeballs. That’s right, eyeballs. She said [via Women’s Wear Daily], “He’s just so beautiful and handsome to me, and I love that his eyeballs are so beautifully captured because those eyes just knock me out every day…. He’s just like a lost gem in the sand, and he’s just always been there and been brilliant, and now this is just in a different light.”
Oh. My. God. Is she for real? Did she actually hear those words coming out of her mouth? Either Jennifer’s working overtime to convince the press that she and Justin are just fine, dispelling the breakup rumors, or she was just really, really baked. I’m going with the latter, because even if she was trying to shoot down the breakup rumors, she wouldn’t have done it by speaking about eyeballs. At least, I hope not.
Honestly, comparing Justin to a ‘lost gem’ is just overdoing it, and it comes off as extremely overzealous. We get it, Jennifer. You and Justin are not going to break up. Please spare us any more soliloquies about how Justin’s shining hair that will cure all the sadness, or how his eyeballs are shooting out rays of sunshine. And also, maybe stop smoking up before coming to a dinner party where there’ll be press. Just a suggestion.
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