Blac Chyna, hip hop whore of Babylon and current BFF of veteran whore Kim Kardashian, is having a butt implant malfunction. Apparently, the posterior implant and visual subject of many an Instagram selfie has flipped inside out causing much distress to the ex stripper turned turned Kardashian hanger on. For anyone who doesn’t know Blac Chyna rose to fame (my computer almost burst into flames writing that,) when she appeared in rapper Tyga’s music video.
The two subsequently became involved, spawned an illegitimate child/statistic, and got the obligatory ink which will have to be removed with a laser once their relationship reaches it’s inevitable end. Kim became friends with BC around the time she figured out that banging Kanye West wouldn’t make her a Beyonce BFF by proxy and Khloe Kardashian’s divorce drama became like totally depressing. The two were spotted all around town doing typical former stripper/porn star activities like shopping, lunching, twerking, and perhaps sharing plastic surgery tips.
Since Kim Kardashian may have about two bedazzled pebbles rolling around in her head, she decided to take advice from BC about posterior implants because when it comes to the butt, its go big or go home. Even though Kim has vehemently denied in the past that she even has implants she is understandably upset about BB’s mishap because she too could become the next victim of busted booty implants …which she totally doesn’t have; remember? She like proved it.
I’ll admit, when these two first started hanging out, I wondered why Kim would condescend to BC’s level but then I remembered, bird’s of a feather and all that. These two are the same, both have little talent outside of objectifying their body for money, the only difference is Kim is just more successful at it. Kim probably thought taking advice from BC was solid because she heard a rumor that strippers are only stripping to pay their way through medical school.
Whatever the reason, she should be worried. Implants of any kind are always a gamble and extremely dangerous. Terrible things have happened to women who have posterior implants specifically and just because a doctor is board certified your safety isn’t guaranteed. All of Michael Jackson’s doctors were board certified including Conrad Murray, yet he is in the ground and most of them are still practicing.
Doctors, especially plastic surgeons can be unscrupulous and if the patient is willing to pay and throws a big enough tantrum, they will do the procedure regardless of the risk. It’s sad for the world that these two have already procreated, otherwise all it would take is one golden plastic surgery mishap to remove their corrupted DNA from the human genome. Kris Jenner made sure that wouldn’t happen when she infiltrated the gene pool with her demonic loins and brought forth a handful of screaming harpies and one sacrificial male whose purpose is to be emasculated for all eternity in order to increase the powers of the harpies. Natural selection was too late to save the world from these dark forces, and now…a moment of silence.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet and Instagram