Oh, Kristen Stewart. The foot in the mouth moments never stop coming, do they? Kristen’s seemed to revel in not caring what people say about her, and her recent interviews have been both cringe-worthy and incredibly carefree. However, nothing beats the poem that she wrote last year, in the wake of the Rupert Sanders cheating scandal and subsequent breakup with boyfriend Robert Pattinson.
The poem’s titled ‘My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole’, and it reads:
I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly… ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.
And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
‘Suck the bones pretty’? I get it, this is all abstract and esoteric, and it’s perfect Kristen Stewart. Pretentious as hell, and trying desperately to be cool.
Granted, she did feel embarrassed before she gave the poem to Marie Claire, so she has some level of self-awareness.
Also, these lyrics are clearly about Robert Pattinson… or wait, maybe they’re about Rupert Sanders? Whoever they’re about, even if the lyrics don’t make sense, it’s obvious that Kristen felt a lot of passion for the object of her affection, at least if the lines about ‘getting drunk on your morsels’ and ‘he’s speaking on tongues all down the pan handle’ say anything.
But hey, if she wants to think she’s good at poetry, let her keep thinking that. It’ll provide entertainment for us, and a boost of self-confidence for her. Win-win.