Tonight on Showtime the uniquely twisted and highly entertaining show Shameless returns with an all new Sunday January 11, season 5 episode 1 premiere and we have your weekly recap below. In “Milk of the Gods,” season 5 begins with Fiona [Emmy Rossum] balancing her job and a crush on her older boss. Meanwhile, Lip [Jeremy Allen White] leaves college and heads back home to work a demolition job.
On the last season 4 finale episode Fiona got out of jail. Frank Gallagher was feeling like his old self again! However, he got a handful of news coming his way. First, he found out he was married to Sheila Jackson! How did he react to that!? And even more so, how did he react to learning he couldn’t drink alcohol!? Was he boozing regardless? We all know Frank didn’t like listening to “the man” or in this case, his physician. Did you watch last week’s episode? If you missed it, we have a full and detailed recap right here for you.
On tonight’s episode as per the Showtime synopsis, “season 5 begins with Fiona balancing her job and a crush on her older boss. Meanwhile, Lip leaves college and heads back home to work a demolition job; Frank unveils the secret project he’s been working on; Ian helps a pregnant Svetlana take care of baby Yevgeny; and Kevin plays stay-at-home dad when Veronica goes to work at the Alibi.”
Tonight’s Shameless season 5 premiere is going to be great, and you won’t want to miss it. So be sure to tune in for our live coverage of Shameless — tonight at 9 PM EST! While you wait for our recap, hit the comments and let us know how excited you are about the new season of the Shameless?
Frank’s spooning Sheila and wakes holding her boob. He asks why Chuckie is in their bed and says his pecker is poking him in the back. She says Sammi picked up a guy last night and kicked him out of the trailer. Frank asks why he’s not in Karen’s room but he says he had a bad dream. Sheila nags Frank to take his meds and vitals now. Neither will help fat Chuckie off his back.
Debbie rides up on her bike to see a bunch of people knocking down a building because of asbestos. Carl is on his crutches from a skateboard accident and asks her for a ride but she refuses and rides off. Fiona and Sean put together an above ground pool but realize they forgot the ladder and are trapped. Sean hops out of the pool and falls out. He says he’ll get the ladder.
She asks Liam if he’s ready to kill this thing and she shows Sean how to steal water from the fire hydrant to fill it. They have Liam start the water and then she sprays him. He yells at her that he’s her f-ing boss and can fire her but she doesn’t relent. He gets the hose and soaks her down while Liam squeals. Then they spray the kid too.
Fiona tells Sean he’s got to go take his kid to school – she tells him to tell Will she said hi. He says he’ll see her for dinner. Amanda comes and asks Lip why he’s not packed to go home. He points to a trash bag and she asks what he’s doing – he’s filling out an application to be an RA. He says it’s free room and board and she offers him a place at her off-campus apartment.
They leave his roommate and his GF and take off. Svetlana is making eggs for Nika and Ian. She hands the baby to Mickey for a diaper change and he hands him off to Ian. Svetlana is pregnant as a surrogate. She tells Mickey that Patel smacked one of the girls and left without paying. He tells his crew to leave the guns and tells Ian he’ll see him later. Ian has the baby and smooches Mickey goodbye. He’s the manny.
Frank’s trying to poop when Chuckie busts in and says he’s got to poo. Sheila calls up and tells him to take his pills. He has about 30 to take. Chuckie asks what they’re for and he tells him and then Sheila yells up for him to weigh himself. He says he’s 155 but Chuckie says it says 147. Frank says she doesn’t need to know. She yells up blood pressure. The babies are crying and Veronica is struggling to nurse. Carol grabs her boob and tries to help.
Dominique and Carol take off and Kevin says a sweet goodbye to his other daughter. Veronica complains that the babies are biting her. Kevin fusses at her when she swats the babies for biting her. She says they’re going to formula but Kevin says they’ll have asthma and allergies. She says babies in this neighborhood are raised on kool-aid and powdered milk. She hands him both the girls and says she’s done. He asks what just happened as she leaves him.
Veronica complains to Fiona that she’s covered in puke, piss and vomit. She says she wants her boobs, life and husband back. Fiona says she needs to get laid and Veronica asks if she’s slept with Sean yet. She says she’s too gun shy. Fiona tells her to go take a shower and screw her husband. Veronica says she’s not interested but goes off to do as she advises. Amanda asks Lip if he wants her car for the summer but he says it’ll get stripped in his neighborhood.
She gives him a watch as a going away present and she asks if he’s going to date other people other the summer. He says he doesn’t know and asks if she will. She says she doesn’t know and he says that sounds like it’s settled. He helps her into her car she’s hired to take her to the airport. She says bye and they drive off. Frank hands Sheila his notebook and she says he’s done a good job with his weight. She asks about his headaches and says he should try exercise for the depression.
He kisses her and says he needs bacon for his project. She offers French toast but he says he’s not hungry. He curses and asks where the socket wrench went to. She asks what’s his secret project and he says if he told her it wouldn’t be a secret. Chuckie comes in and asks for French toast but Sheila tells him to go see his mom for food. But then Sammi is there and introduces Renaldo. Sheila says she doesn’t have enough food for him but Sammi takes hers and says she can share it.
Sheila tells Sammi to get his daughter under control and then Sammi asks Frank to take Chuckie to school. He says he’s busy. Sammi straddles Renaldo and Sheila says it’s not nice to dry hump in front of your kid and says she’s acting out. Sammi says – you’re not my mother. Chuckie breaks one of Sheila’s Hummels and Renaldo then asks for a hummer. Sheila is devastated and then Sammi starts to go down on the guy in front of them and Sheila says she’ll take him to school.
Ian and Fiona are jogging with Mickey’s kid and Liam. She asks if he’s called the doctor at the clinic to develop a plan of action next time but Ian insists it was a one time thing. He says he doesn’t have bipolar and she says it looked like it. He says there was too much coke at the club and she reminds him the odds are one of them will get it. He says he bets it will be Carl and races her to the lamp post.
Debbie is getting off her bike when missionaries try to give her a pamphlet. She says she’s accepted Jesus and tells them there are Muslims three doors down. She delivers a propane tank she stole to her dad and he pays her $5. He says he needs her help tonight and she says she’s going to a family dinner to celebrate Lip making it through year one of college. She tells him he’s not invited. He walks by his daughter riding Renaldo on Sheila’s sofa.
She says – Daddy, you caught me. Am I in trouble. (Ick) He just keeps walking. He made a plan to meet Debbie and head to the dinner together later. Veronica is in a nice robe and tries to seduce Kevin but he’s in a mommy and me chat room trying to find out how to get them to stop biting her nipples. He tells her what he found out and she tells him to put the computer down. She straddles him but then Amy starts crying. She says she’ll stop it and continues to work on him.
She goes down on him and he opens the laptop and starts looking at it again. She complains that he’s not getting hard and says he’s more into the kids than him. She says if it was one of his kids going down on him, he’d get hard (double ick). He tells her not to talk like that about their angels. She tells him she’s going to work at the Alibi and tells him to watch the kids and says he needs to get formula.
Carl steals an electric wheelchair from an old guy. Lip takes the subway from school back to home. He’s intently people watching. Mickey is working on his moving crew and the wife of the couple he’s moving presses him on being careful with the piano. Lip sees the missionaries cruising the neighborhood and then finds Debbie stabbing her doll with a screwdriver and Carl trying to build a makeshift ramp to get into the house.
Stumpy comes over and invites him to come smoke some weed. He goes over to check in with his boys. He asks if Wayne is still at the chop shop and they tell him Stumpy knocked up Gloria. He says he’s saving up to get a DNA test cause he doesn’t think it’s his. They ask Lip about his new watch and he lies and says he stole it from a rich kid at school. They offer him some harder drugs but he says he needs to go home and see his family.
Fiona is at work and is hustling. She sees Angela there and she asks what she wants. She orders pie and coffee and asks Fiona if she’s seeing anyone. She says she’s not because she’s boring these days. Fiona is making peace all over the place. Wanda says Angela was asking how much she makes and wants some Fiona pie. Fiona tells Sean that Wanda is harassing her and he says he’ll spank her. Fiona asks when he’s going to spank her.
Angela leaves a $100 tip for Fiona again and Wanda remarks that Sean is staring at Fiona. Sheila comes home and calls out hello but is relieved when no one seems to be home. Then she goes over and sniffs the sofa and then curses when she smells sex on her sofa. She asks what kind of woman has sex on another woman’s couch. She fills a bucket and goes into full OCD outrage. She sees a dildo under the sofa and freaks out even more.
She goes upstairs and finds that Sammi has gotten into all her sex toys. Her giant dildo collection is out everywhere (it’s giant in both quantity and in size of individual sex toy). She takes the into the bathtub to clean them off. She hears the door and runs down calling out to Frank. She says ever since he got back, Sammi is acting out. She says she has real issues and says he needs to play Daddy before things get worse. She says she doesn’t want them around anymore and he says fine.
He asks what he cares and she says she’s glad they had this talk. Ian gets checked out by another gay dad at the pharmacy and then he sees Kevin there with the twins in the pharmacy. Kevin asks Ian if he knows how he can make the baby poop. Ian offers him some advice and he asks if Svetlana is still breast feeding. Ian says she’s still into it because it’s good for the baby and free. He asks if he’s cool with that guy cruising him and offers to rough him up. Ian says he’s cool.
He and the guy go out back and jerk each other with the kids’ stroller facing away from them. Ian uses a baby wipe to clean his hand off. (triple ick). Mickey takes the moving truck and lets some guys bid on the whole thing. He tells them it’s not antiques roadshow and says to make an offer. One guy loves the Barcaloungers and gets $5,300 for the lot of it. Mickey takes the cash, they take the truck and he pulls off the moving sign. Ian picks him up and Mickey says he’s late. Ian tells him the grocery store was busy.
One of the drunks complains that Veronica is pouring light and she says the bar is losing money. Lip comes in and they see Sammi flirting with a fat slob. He talks to the guy about his summer job and he says he doesn’t like college pussies. Then he tells Lip he’s just kidding him and says he has the job. One of Fiona’s customers flirts heavily and gives her his number. He says he can come by after his gig. She sits with the other waitresses and she says his accent is hot but he’s a bad choice.
They ask if he left a good tip and if he stuck the whole thing in. Sean says to be careful since you never know where a musicians tip has been. He’s headed to the meeting but Fiona says she’s staying there to get ready for the family dinner. Sean says he’s excited to meet Lip. Frank meets Debbie at the playground and tells her to dig up some wood chips for him. She asks why he can’t and he says it would look pervie. He tells her that’s enough and says they need to go to dinner.
Sheila explains that Chuckie belongs in his house and it’s not like she doesn’t like him. She puts him in the RV and says they need boundaries and they need to call before they come over. He asks what happens if his mom brings home another man what should he do. She tells him to put a pillow over his head. She shoves him in the RV and tells him to lock the GD door. The family toasts Lip’s first successful year at college. They ask Frank why he’s drinking.
He says he did extensive testing and says his liver can support one beer a day. He says he’s a cheap date like an anemic girl. He asks for more Salisbury steak. No one looks happy to have him there. Lip asks Frank why he’s even there and he says he wants the steak to go since he has to get back to work. He says she owes him for trying to kill his son with cocaine. Lip calls him a d-bag. Debbie acts grouchy and Lip asks what’s up. She says Holly and Ellie aren’t talking to her anymore.
Fiona says the same thing happened to her. The other waitress tells her she went through it too and says give it a couple of weeks. Sean comes over as the whole family is toasting “screw those bitches.” Sean meets Lip and then Frank says it’s good of him to hire a felon. She has to introduce her dad. The busboy is checking out Ian. Lip asks if she and Sean have a thing and says it seems hot. Lip asks her about Ian seeing the doctor and she says he won’t. He tells her to talk to Mickey.
Ian heads into the bathroom and goes down on the apron. Kevin is watching the ball game and explaining it to his daughters. The missionaries show up and they tell him they’re not religious, they realtors that want to buy the house. They leave their card. Veronica calls Kevin. He says it’s good and she asks if he needs her mom. He says he’s good but a woman in the chat room says he has Madonna whore complex. He says he liked that she used to be a whore but says she’s like the Virgin Mary now.
She repeats this to her mom and Kevin hangs up when he thinks he sees a poop face. It’s everywhere and he dances around saying – poop, there it is. He’s thrilled. The other waitress says she has to get an apartment and she asks Fiona if she’s going to see Davis. Fiona says she needs to get paid. Sean asks if she charged for the pie and she says he usually throws out the pie at the end of the night. He tells her to cough up the $12.99 and she asks if his grandma really makes it.
He says it’s frozen for Costco and she offers to give it to him in trade. He say he takes cash and tells her next time it’s stealing. He tells her not to take advantage just because they’re friends. Sammi rants at Sheila for locking her out of her own house (aka hers). They argue and Frank brings her f-k buddy downstairs to show him his new project. He’s built a still type of thing to make the strongest beer ever. He says his liver could give out in six or eight years but this could last forever.
He says they can stop him from drinking, but can’t stop him from making the best beer ever. He calls it Frank’s Milk of the Gods and says it will change the way people drink. He says it’s 130 proof and if he can only have one beer a day, this will be it. He decants a couple of glasses of it for them to go sample. Fiona knocks on Mickey’s door and ask if they can talk. He says to walk and talk and says he’s got an errand. She asks if he can get Ian to see the doctor.
Mickey says he’s not sick anymore but Lip says he will be. They tell him that it will help Ian to not have mania and not be depressed as long. Mickey goes over to the dry cleaner and slaps him then punches him a few times. Fiona asks if this is his errand. Mickey kneels down and says if he ever hits one of his girls again, he won’t go this easy. He calls up to Mrs Patel and asks her to jerk off her husband once in a while so he doesn’t come back to his rub and tug.
They tell him the symptoms of bipolar including hyper-sexuality. He says all gay 17 year old are horny. Veronica comes home and finds the cribs empty and Kevin not answering her. She goes to their room and finds him knocked out with the girls in his arms. She goes to undress and her boobs are killing her. She puts frozen peas in her shirt and grabs a beer. Lip’s friends call out for him and tell him they’ve got chronic. They tell him to get his ass down there. They give up and leave when he doesn’t answer.
He texts Amanda to ask how Miami is. Ian watches Mickey sleep. He asks if he’s awake he says he is now. He says he can’t sleep and then crawls on top of him. Mickey asks again and Ian asks if he has a problem with that. Ian slaps him around and tells him to wake up. They wrestle and start fooling around. Veronica complains to Fiona that Kevin is a better mom than her and says she wanted him to fail. The musician texts and she ignores it.
Instead, she calls Sean and tells him to bring his kid over and tells Veronica they’re having a Gallagher style pool party. Frank is ready to try his beer. He pops the cap off and sniffs then sips. He staggers back and burps and coughs. He takes another sip then another. He gulps more down and then finishes off most of the glass. He passes out cold. The other guy drinks the last of it then gags and spits it out. Sean and his son and Fiona’s family are in the pool and Ian shows up.
They ask where Mickey is and he says he wore him out. Lip gets in and they head Liam to Fiona. A neighbor yells at them to shut up and Fiona yells back- you shut up – it’s summer. Frank wakes sore and naked on a picnic table. An art class is sketching him. They tell him they found him like that. They tell him his body is beautiful and that he’s perfect. There’s a whole class of people sketching his worn out looking carcass. He gives up and lies back down.
PLEASE HELP CDL GROW, SHARE on FACEBOOK and TWEET THIS POST!
