Prince William and Kate Middleton, the milquetoast faces of the royal family, are reportedly playing ‘sexy’ board games to spice up their lives. Ah look, another story about Mr. Bland Royal and Mrs. Bland Royal.
Um… what are sexy board games? Apparently, a ‘sexy, spanky version of strip monopoly.’ According to the Enquirer (read further at the risk of your eyeballs rolling into the back of your head), “It’s one game Wills does not mind losing. Kate literally beats his pants off every time, but Will insists he never ends up a sore loser because there’s always a happy ending.”
THERE ARE SO MANY JOKES TO MAKE AND ONLY SO MUCH TIME. First of all, the puns – ‘beats his pants off’ and ‘sore loser’ and ‘happy ending’. Oh, the Enquirer, you. Secondly, this report seems so ridiculous that it’s almost believable, right? Of all the royals, Prince William and Kate Middleton totally seem like the types to play ‘sexy’ monopoly to spice up their love life, which for all intents and purposes, seems deader than dead.
They might have been especially spurred on after seeing Prince Harry with his new girlfriend/soon-to-be-fiancee Meghan Markle, and it’s not unlikely that Kate Middleton saw their relationship and stewed in jealousy at the visible passion – a passion that is sadly missing from her own marriage with Will. Of course, just like with everything else, they have the most out-of-touch response in the world, which is resorting to STRIP MONOPOLY to make their marriage sexier. If you’re going to spice up your marriage, AT LEAST play strip poker! Or something that’s tried and tested and normal!
It’s actually been fairly obvious that Prince William and Kate Middleton have noticed their popularity dropping, and a large part of that is the public has wised up to their ‘totally normal, totally relatable, totally in love with each other’ act. It’s been a long time coming, but we all know the truth: the only fire in their marriage is the fire that is lit by one of their million maids during the winter, when they’re too lazy to get up and do it themselves.
What do you guys think? Are Prince William and Kate Middleton playing ‘sexy’ board games to spice up their love life and rival Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as the #1 star-crossed lovers of the public’s affection? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Image credit to Kensington Royal // via Instagram
