Why do they call it Monday? I think they left letters out. Specifically an "r" and an "o". It couldn’t be more obvious it should be called "Moronday". Because there is no doubt that I am forced to deal with an egregious number of morons on any given Monday. In particular, that one asswipe in the office who has been there since 6am and already had three cups of coffee and feels the need to greet you like you’ve just arrived at the circus. "GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, MARY!".
Well, that’s how these stories feel to me. A greeting I never asked for but nonetheless had to deal with on Monday. And now you share my pain.
1) Toby Foster of The Alaska Distillery is proud of himself for inventing Smoke Salmon Flavored Vodka. Yes, I know some of your Sausage McGriddle just came back up and I’m frickin sorry.
2) A 23 year old homeless man dies watching the new Twilight with no obvious cause of death. You mean, other than the sucktitude of Twilight?
3) Lindsay Lohan wants to apologize and discuss respect now that she’s going to the clink.
So….share Moronday with me and push play to get my full angry perspective on these three super-geniuses.