Taylor Swift Sinks Her Teeth Into Harry Styles: Already Planning their Wedding!

Taylor Swift Sinks Her Teeth Into Harry Styles: Already Planning their Wedding!

Taylor Swift is a needy and co-dependent black widow who needs to feed on the souls of young Hollywood in order to have a career. If it weren’t for Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, and who knows what else, Swift wouldn’t have any music material. It’s a fact. Kanye West almost punched her off the stage a few years ago, and while the entire world hated him for it, we do understand why he did what he did. He is like that Bane dude from Dark Knight Rises – he speaks the truth, even though he wants to blow up the world every second morning

According to a latest Star magazine report, Swift’s latest victim, One Direction’s Harry Styles, is being eaten alive by the Praying Mantis. A source revealed that Swift is “dangerously head over heels” for Styles and that she has “already creeped him out with her talk of weddings and kids.” Run and hide, Harry, because once this pit bull bites, she won’t let go until you’re a shell of your former self.

According to the insider, “She’s already planning a romantic Christmas vacation, just the two of them, and has taken him home to meet her mom! She’s gone off the rails.” Allegedly, Styles is also “panicking over Taylor’s clingy behavior and is looking for an exit strategy to avoid become fodder for her next hit song.” Unfortunately, hell hath no fury on Taylor Swift scorned. If Harry dares to press the eject button, Swift will take him down quicker than an assassin on a bad acid trip. We’re almost certain she’s already writing her next hit song using Harry’s eyes as the centerpiece to her creation. Literally.

Good luck, Harry. There’s only One Direction you should follow, and that’s as far away from Taylor as possible.

Image credit to FameFlynet

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2 responses to “Taylor Swift Sinks Her Teeth Into Harry Styles: Already Planning their Wedding!”

  1. […] November 29, 2012: It could be! According to Star, Styles is looking for a way out of the relationship because Swift is already planning nuptials. As of last week, Styles was “panicking over Taylor’s clingy behavior and is looking for an exit strategy to avoid becoming fodder for her next hit song,” which is going to happen no matter what he does so if that’s his biggest fear, too late. December 3, 2012: Styles and Swift visit Central Park together, gawk at some seals. British journalist James Desborough speculates that they could be the next Britney and Justin, which is such a bad thing to say because that means this will not end well for Swift. […]

  2. […] on about, let’s give you kids a lesson in Taylor Swift 101, shall we? The faux-pop star has been hooking up with Hollywood’s leading men ever since her career took off a few years ago. Swift’s romantic endeavors, however, haven’t […]