They say the camera adds ten pounds, but not just around your belly! Jennifer Aniston has been on baby watch since she and Brad Pitt first made eye contact, and unless she shares Kate Middleton’s ability to be pregnant with a perfectly flat stomach (and six pack to boot), she’s still waiting to get knocked up! She and hubby Justin Theroux would have the prettiest (if not most vain and talentless) children, and many are queuing up to get a glimpse of her mid section at this year’s Oscars. The Academy Awards is a night of tight-fitting dresses and red carpet interviews, and this year will be no exception. If Jen is pregnant, we’ll know this Sunday!
Of course, if pregnant, Jen may be hoping for a more dramatic announcement, like a 2-hour talkshow special. The woman is a whore for fame and money—if her recent movies are any indication! But the Oscars will be a night of bright lights, which should give us some defining shadow on her dress, hopefully giving us the news we’ve been waiting for: that Jennifer is infertile, and her offspring will never terrorize the earth!
Honestly, being on baby watch is very exciting, but let’s consider the greater good: I just don’t think a Jen and Justin baby would do anyone any good! If anything, we should be focusing our efforts on preventing her from getting pregnant! It’s not like she and Justin don’t provide us with any other meat to chew on. Besides being in constant fights, resorting to bizarre couples therapy treatments, and having an either non-existent or hot-n-wild sex life, we get to encourage paparazzi to invade their future wedding, providing us with slightly-pixelized photos of Queen Jen. She may complain about the privacy invasion, but you know she’ll be thrilled to see her face on the cover of a magazine! Do you think Jen and Justin are planning on a baby? Would a pregnancy be cause for celebration or tears?
Editor’s Note: Looking at 10 year old pics of Jen and Brad showing up for the Emmys we see two things: 1) her nose has been bobbed further since then; 2) she always had saggy breasts.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet