The Kardashian Christmas Card – Family Join Illuminati, Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)

The Kardashian-Jenner Christmas Card - Family Joins Illuminati, Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)

The Kardashians have once again released their annual Christmas card. These bat-heads turned into the Bitches of Beastwick this time around, posing in “carnival-like room filled with dollar bills, a sparkling gold money sign, mannequins and photos of the family members.”

Oh God.

The Christmas Crackheads strike fake poses every year to cash in on the Christmas hype, much like Boney M and their godawful pop chants from hell. However, this year the Kardashians managed to destroy Christmas for the rest of eternity.

Kim Kardashian, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris Jenner, Kylie, Kendall and Bruce are all dressed in black, almost like a bunch of exorcists on their way to a Christmas party at Chucky’s house.

The Kardashian-Jenner Christmas Card - Family Joins Illuminati, Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)

E! Online broke our brains with their apt description of the Christmas Crackheads:

The whole family is dressed in black, with Kim standing on a staircase in a cleavage baring, body-hugging dress, while Khloé lounges on a chair in a sparkly black dress with Kourtney’s son Mason draped in front of her. Kourtney, meanwhile, is standing near Khloé, holding her daughter Penelope, who wore a cream, flowy dress for the occasion. Kylie and Kendall strike fierce poses while standing on top of some of the dollar bills, with Kendall showing off her gorgeous gams in a high-cut dress and Kylie giving a smoldering look in back of her. Kris is in the forefront of the shot, throwing up her hands wearing black gloves and a black halter dress that shows off her legs. And Bruce is situated in a glass case wearing a suit, with the words “cashier” in the background of the glass.

The Kardashian-Jenner Christmas Card - Family Joins Illuminati, Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)

Draping children, cream dresses, “fierce poses”, Bruce in a glass case… struggling to escape! Let’s not forget the giant Illuminati symbol directly behind Kendall and Kylie… are the Kardashian Klan trying to tell us that they are now members of the mysterious group?  Have they finally attained the status of Beyonce and Jay-Z, two other famous Illuminati.

The Kardashian-Jenner Christmas Card - Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)

This séance after-party was shot by uberfamous photographer David LaChapelle, but don’t let this horrific monstrosity get in the way of LaChapelle’s talent.

Wash your eyes with Listerine and beer if you have to.

We did.

11 responses to “The Kardashian Christmas Card – Family Join Illuminati, Prepare To Be Horrified (PHOTOS)”

  1. LadyJustice says:

    Baby North is there or at least her photo is..She’s hanging over Khloe’s head..Take a look it’s her face and body..she’s just more brown..

  2. Angel 2009 says:

    One big “puke fest!”

  3. Virginia Fleischman says:

    Poor Bruce Jenner trapped in a plastic bubble as the mom ho manager keeps him in it.

  4. SpringBeauty says:

    Jesus wept…

  5. MakeHerUp says:

    I am so bothered by this whole family

  6. Nick S. says:

    I just can’t get over how creepy this is *cringes*

  7. allie says:

    Their card, has nothing to do with Christmas and everything to do with money and vanity. Horrible family.

  8. Pamela says:

    What the hell is going on?

  9. […] In the card, shot by renown photographer David LaChapelle, a pair of pyramids, each with an eye on its’ top — iconography associated with the Illuminati — lurk in the background. […]

  10. […] worse the stars of the show have been using their budget money for expensive and silly crap like their recent Christmas photo. So now the family has to literally the bottom of the barrel to gain back some viewers. […]