Robert Pattinson is getting married! Let’s get drunk on moonshine and dance under the midnight trees! The sparkly Manpire asked FKA Twigs to marry him. She said yes, he said yes and Kristen Stewart said “No! My man is marrying a twig!” But when Kristen Stewart realized that Robert Pattinson wasn’t actually marrying a twig she just mumbled, “So, that escalated quickly…” I think she still thinks he’s marrying a twig, but it’s Kristen Stewart, so I’ll let it slide for now.
Rapper T-Pain accidently announced the engagement during an interview. Some thought it was an April Fool’s Joke (rappers make engagement jokes all the time!), but the rumors never died down. The story exploded like Kirstie Alley post-chocolate binge. Did Robert Pattinson really ask FKA Twigs to marry him? Who is FKA Twigs? Why didn’t K-Stew cry? What will become of the broken hearted?
Rob and Tahliah Debrett Barnett (no wonder she calls herself FKA Twigs) moved in together in November of 2014; they allegedly started dating in June. An insider told Us Weekly, “They’ve been living together and he’s been calling her his greatest love.” Unfortunately, a certain (ahem) “someone” can’t cope with Rob and Twig’s great love story.
According to an exclusive source, Twihards everywhere expected to read something like: “Kristen [Stewart] threw a fit when she found out about the engagement. She’s still madly in love with Rob – he was her first love. It was absolutely unbearable to watch. I’ve never seen anyone get so upset over an ex-boyfriend. She tried calling him, but he didn’t answer… I wouldn’t either. Leave the guy alone you know? Move on, get over it, do what you have to do.” But fans were disappointed when Kristen Stewart had no public reaction whatsoever. Of course KStew didn’t. Kristen has also found the love of her life, Alicia Cargile!
Well done, Rob! You finally found someone who wouldn’t cheat on you with their director. It’s a match made in Coachella.
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