The Bastard Executioner Recap – Burns and Babies: Season 1 Episode 5 “Piss Profit / Proffidwyr Troeth”

The Bastard Executioner Recap - Burns and Babies: Season 1 Episode 5 "Piss Profit / Proffidwyr Troeth"

Tonight on FX their original series, The Bastard Executioner airs with an all new Tuesday October 6, season 1 episode 5 called, “Piss Profit / Proffidwyr Troeth,” We’ve got your recap down below! On tonight’s episode, The King’s right hand visits on official business.

On the last episode, Lady Love headed to Windsor to hear the fate of Ventrishire from King Edward II. Back at Castle Ventris, Baron Pryce visited Milus and company. Did you watch the last episode? If you missed it, we have a full and detailed recap right here for you.

On tonight’s episode per the FX synopsis “The King’s right hand visits on official business and Milus gets Wilkin to search for a valuable artifact.”

We will be blogging The Bastard Executioner with all the up-to-the-minute details at 10PM EST so make sure to come back to this spot and watch the show with us. Make sure to refresh often so you get the most current info! In the meantime, sound out in the comments below and let us know what you think of this series.



#BastardExecutioner starts with Love telling Isabel to wash her bloody gown (blood from her period) where no one can see. Love says she has no idea how to carry out her deception. Isabel says maybe it’s not a deception then Love asks if she’s suggesting she sow seeds with someone else. Isabel says she would never offer advice. Love thanks her handmaiden. Love sits and thinks. Milus is at the table going through papers and reads a letter of interest.

He talks to a new male servant and tells him he’s in his debt. Wilk brings his “son” Luca by to see Nora in the market then tells the boy to wait at the cart and goes back to talk to her. He asks isn’t she at risk there and she says the physiker asked her to come. She asks about the brothers in the hole. He says her oils ease their pains and she asks about his pain. He says it’s a horror that plays out there. Jessamy takes the trinket that Nora gave Luca. Nora tells Wilk that woman has a crippled heart.

Wilk says she hasn’t tried to hurt the boy or herself again but Nora says Jessamy’s angry ghosts push her close to madness. She smiles at Jessamy who acts strange. Wilk gives medicine to his men then Luca warns him someone is coming. It’s Milus. He wants to talk openly with Wilk and Marshal for a moment and sends Luca out. Milus tells Wilk he needs his services. He tells him Pryce has sensed their weakness and wants the Ventris land. He says Pryce has an ancient scroll or thing that the king wants.

Milus wants them to steal the relic and destroy it so he can’t give it to the king. Wilk says killing guards puts them at risk. Marshal says they should want to protect Love and her rule. Milus then says he knows they’re comforting murderers by helping the men in the hole. Milus threatens them with killing their compadres. Wilk asks if he’ll offer them a different fate if they do his evil deed. Milus says no death sentence and servitude for a time instead.

Wilk tells Milus they’ll do it. He tells them to leave within an hour and tells them what trail to find the cart off. He tells Wilk he’ll draft the letters commuting the death sentences and will have Love sign them while they’re gone. Milus tells Wilk to keep a leash on Marshal. Wilk tells Milus he’s become power drunk since the Baron’s death and says men don’t make good decisions while drunk. Milus storms out. Love watches some men ride into the courtyard. She sees it’s royal.

Love says she needs to expand her girth with haste. Isabel looks and curses. Milus greets Gaveston and introduces himself. He asks to speak to Love and Milus asks the occasion of the visit. Gaveston says she radiates beauty. He kisses her hand and she remarks on his humble retinue. He says he came to declare heirs. He says he brought the uroscoper to verify her pregnancy. Gaveston checks out the twins as he’s shown away to the guest chamber.

Love apologizes for not sharing the news of her pregnancy with Milus yet and says she only found out on the road to Windsor. He says he’s happy at the news then says the testing can be quite disquieting and calls the guy a piss prophet. Milus offers to be of service to her if she needs him. She thanks him. Milus tells the twins they’ve stirred Gaveston’s interest. The Claras ask if that’s a bad thing and he tells them no. Love goes to the chapel to light a candle. Gaveston is there and greets her.

He says her devotion is wonderful and her savior blesses her in many ways. He remarks on her slim frame. He asks when she expects the child and she says when the weather turns cold. She says it was from just before her husband died. Gaveston talks to her about deceiving the eyes of God and says he’s worried about her eternal soul if she’s lying. He says to renounce the charade and she will suffer no penalty for her false words. Love stares him down silently.

Gaveston says perhaps God will take pity and says the king will have her breasts and head cut off when she’s found to be a liar. He tells her the first piss in the morning will go to the man he brought to verify the pregnancy. He walks out and she stresses out. Wilk and Marshal arrive at the spot that Milus directed them to. Marshal says Wilk is getting familiar with the nobles of the shire. He says Love is pious. Marshal complains they’re Milus’ puppets now. Wilk says Milus will face a harsh end.

Marshal fears their fate and Wilk says they must be true. They tie up their horses and walk off. Gaveston finds Clara and Clara naked and kissing in his bed. They tell him that Milus sent them to find out what his business is there. One kisses him and then he laughs and climb into bed with them. Wilk sits in the path cooking a meal when Pryce’s men ride up on him. The soldier tells him to clear off. Wilk stabs him and Marshal shoots a flaming arrow into the cart. They ride down the other men and the horses break free.

They burn the cart to its ashes and Wilk says – dirty deed complete. A woman screams in the cart and they break it open. They pull out the woman who is burned but they can’t get the man who was in the cart. Wilk spots an object in her hand – a small book partially charred from the fire. It wasn’t a relic, but Pryce’s wife Trula in the cart and it was her physiker’s wagon.

They return and Wilk attacks Milus violently. He knocks him down and kicks him. Milus punches him in the balls and then returns the attack. Wilk gets the better of him and then Milus’ servant interrupts them. Milus says they are true and says they did what was required to protect the shire. The guards come for Wilk but Milus says they were just demonstrating defense. He says he was sharing some grappling skills he learned in the Scottish battle field. Wilk storms off.

Milus’ new man checks on him then the Claras come in. They tell him they have news to cheer him. They tell him Gaveston asked about him and if he had wives and lovers. They tell him that Gaveston seems to want Milus’ attention in his chamber, not theirs. Love finds Wilk sulking in the garden. He greets her and she sits. She notices the injuries to his face and he says a tool slipped nothing more. He asks about the prisoners being freed. She’s surprised they’re still in the hole and says she’ll release them at once.

She tells him that it’s interesting that he concerns himself with the fate of those he punishes. He tells her about a healer at the market and says he needs to see her for a balm. She asks if it’s his healer and asks if she knows about humors. She says she needs wisdom of a different sort and Wilk says Nora is most different. She asks if he ever feels like he’s living the life of another and God intended a different life – one truer to them. She apologizes for talking strangely.

Wilk says he can arrange the healer to come to her and she thanks him. Milus sits with Gaveston sharing wine and he’s asked about his past. He tells Milus they have a lot in common. Gaveston asks about Love and says they’ve heard stories that she was barren. Milus says stories change as they travel. Gaveston says Milus is must know everything there and he calls the Frenchman a flatterer then asks why he wants Ventrishire and not somewhere more interesting.

Milus asks if he’s looking for a place to hide. Gaveston implies his quest for power has left him with enemies. Milus asks if it’s Scots or Barons coming for him. Gaveston drops his pants and says his tongue loosens when his manhood is in a handsome mouth. Milus has no choice but to get on his knees and service the man. He starts to then Gaveston slaps him away and says he wouldn’t let someone dirt born touch his rod that knows only the touch of beautiful holes.

Milus is humiliated and leaves looking furious. Gaveston will be lucky to survive the visit. Milus goes to his chamber and beats his man servant brutally. Wilk takes Love to see Nora at the shore. She stops and says it’s foolish then tells him she’s sorry. She says this behavior isn’t who she is and Wilk says maybe it’s the other life God intended. He says talk to the healer then they’ll leave. Nora greets her warmly and Wilk introduces them then leaves them alone to talk.

Nora walks with Love and offers her her cloak to keep her warm. Nora touches her hands and says they are cold and delicate, like a girl. Love begins to cry and Nora holds her close and comforts her. Then she calms and apologizes for her tears. She says she’s ashamed. Nora tells her not to think that way and says she’s pious and says God holds her closer than she can know. She asks Love to tell her how she can server her. Wilk slips into a vision. He sees his wife walking out of the ocean. The scene glows gold.

She asks will he follow then says he belongs with her. She drops her gown then covers himself with her hands and falls into a deep grave and screams. She holds out a hand to him and calls him savior. When she crawls out of the grave, she’s burned and says he deserves this. Love breaks him out of his reverie and says she needs to go back. Nora tells her to send her maiden at sun up. Nora clasps Wilk’s hand tight. She holds Love’s hand too. She closes her eyes for a moment and Love asks if she made her sad.

Nora says she’s not sad and tells Wilk to keep her safe. Love has her pisspot and Isabel comes with the pee. Isabel says the healer and her man set her ill at ease. They mix a powder that Nora sent. Gaveston knocks and she tells Isabel to go delay him. Love asks God if he knows what she’s doing. Love pours some pregnant wolf’s pee into her pot. The piss prophet begins his test. Love asks the outcome they await. The man explains the test and they all wait.

Milus greets the Claras but he’s annoyed. When he walks off they call him a pig. Gaveston finds the girls and tells them he leaves today but they must stay for a while to do his bidding. They are his half-sisters! He has them there as spies. Gaveston paces as Milus and Love sit at the table. Milus makes a small smile at her. The piss doctor comes in and sets down the tray. He says Lady Love is with child. Gaveston says it’s impossible. He refuses to believe it.

Gaveston asks if his tests are faulty and says Love is not with child and he would stake his good name on it. Milus says that’s a wager as worthless as his journey there. Gaveston curses them and storms out. Milus is pleased. Wilk sits in the chapel brooding when Love finds him there. She observes him for a moment then steps into the chapel. She greets him and he stands. They sit together and he says she seems in a better mood. She asks him to thank his healer for her kindness.

She hands him the servitude writs to commute the death sentence of the Welsh prisoners. Wilk accidentally calls her “my love.” He apologizes and she says she’s not insulted. He says he’ll watch his words but then she touches his arm and says she doesn’t want them to grow apart and says she enjoys his company. He steps closer and takes her hand. He pulls her into a hug. Marshal sees this. He’s upset and walks away. Then Jessamy is there and asks if he’s seen Wilk. He tells her that he’s in the chapel. Jessamy sees them in an embrace.