Kate Middleton’s Family Royally Shunned, Won’t Get Titles After All!

First the Russell Brand story and now this? I am SICK of all the denials today! Why couldn’t they have just given me a Lady Pippa? She would have been grateful. She’s been playing along so well lately. They took away her living, why couldn’t they have thrown her a lousy title? Poor thing. Now she’s going to have to marry for it (which, crazy enough, could have been the royal family’s plan all along to keep her in her place).

But I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Let’s start over from the beginning.

Earlier this week the Daily Mail had a story suggesting that Queen Elizabeth will most likely grant Kate Middleton’s father, Michael Middleton, a title since he’s the first peerage-less grandfather of an an heir in something like 1,000 years. Totally embarrassing! The article went on to report that he’ll probably be made a Earl before Kate Middleton’s baby is born which would make Carole Middleton a countess and Pippa Middleton a lady. Needless to say, the American in me was excited by all the social climbing.

But the palace came out and said “Not so fast you ungrateful plebs!” The Deputy Clerk of the Crown and head of the Crown Office told E! News: “No steps have been taken to honour, nor do I have any information in relation to the prospect of conferring a title upon the father of the Duchess of Cambridge. If such a title were to be conferred by Her Majesty, it would be formalized through this office.”

So pretty much “If it were to happen, I would be the first to know and I ain’t heard nothing!”

Now, that’s not to say it won’t happen, just that it hasn’t yet. The Queen has five months before that baby comes out and realizes it’s half common so she’s got time – just not tons of it. People still assume she’ll probably go through with it but I have to wonder why. So much has been made over the Kate Middleton’s a common girl thing so why ruin the Disney storyline by changing all that now? The royal family loves the fact that people believe they’ve accepted Kate and all her humble beginnings. Making Michael an earl almost seems like they’re trying to change the Middletons so they’ll fit in more. But not fitting in is what makes Kate Middleton the perfect Duchess of Cambridge. She’s one of us. Look what she accomplished with a first class education, no job, a great head of hair and the patience of Job!

Everyone needs a fairy tale but is this one ruined for Kate Middleton’s family with a title? Michael Middleton doesn’t seem like the dude that would care. Carole on the other hand…. And I’m not even going to mention Pippa. Poor thing. This is just icing on the cake to her craptastic year.