That’s partly because it’s as epically awful as that notorious 2003 bomb starring Jennifer Lopez. Primarily, though, it’s because Lohan’s well-documented off-camera antics are such a distraction, as Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s were, it’s impossible to become engrossed in the film.
Strutting around a small Idaho town in oversized aviator sunglasses, stylish off-the-shoulder tops, skinny jeans and wedges, her party-girl character Rachel looks, sounds and acts like … well, like Lindsay Lohan.
Rachel is constantly getting into trouble and in need of rescue. She’s too skinny, she rarely eats. There have been some substance abuse problems in the past, even though she’s barely out of high school. And yet, despite the chaos that constantly surrounds her and her family, she always manages to look stunningly hip. She even wears fake eyelashes at the breakfast table.
All that, however, wears off eventually. And then you are left, for a very long time, with a film that is chock-full of dysfunctional family cliches a hodgepodge of histrionics that’s just painfully shrill to endure.
A contrived script that is all over the place, veering awkwardly between high physical comedy and dark family drama. Both extremes are cringe-inducing.
Too often it plays like a sitcom about three generations of eccentric women, complete with jaunty little musical interludes as segues between scenes except that its plot revolves around an allegation of sexual abuse. Good times.
“Georgia Rule” feels like an even greater failure because its aspirations were so high. It has such star power, it’s trying so hard to be poignant and meaningful, to say something about the power of family and redemption. But in the end, it’s just another concoction of unbelievable characters doing unbelievable things, and telling us nothing we haven’t heard before.