America’s Got Talent 2012 Premiere Recap 5/14/12

America's Got Talent 2012 Premiere Recap 5/14/12

NBC’s talent show America’s Got Talent is back for another season. Tonight is the night everyone has been waiting for, controversial Howard Stern joins the judging panel.  His hiring as a judge has caused a lot of controversy.  The Parents Television Council called for advertisers to boycott America’s Got Talent unless it removed shock jock Howard, but it did not happen.

Contestants are going to have to work really hard to impress Howard Stern and I am happy about that, I hope he throws the cheesiest ones out on their asses. After all, the winner is supposed be a global star and be able to headline a show in Vegas; this is big stuff! So, no chicken farmers, keep your hula hoops at home, no belly dancing, no unicycles and for God sakes, no more dressing up like Ozzy Ozbourne if you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of a worldwide audience.

Tonight’s show will feature a breathtaking goth opera singer, an all male tap dance team and a stunt man that shoots himself out of a cannon.  Are you looking forward to all of Cowell’s changes and to see what Stern brings to the show?

We will be live blogging Ameica’s Got Talent tonight with all the up-to-the-minute details at 8PM EST so make sure to come back to this spot and watch the show with us.  Refresh often to get the most up-to-date results!  While you wait for the recap you can check out a sneak peek video and some spoilers for tonight’s episode here.

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RECAP: Everyone is excited to see Howard Stern as a judge this season but nobody wants to get an “X” from him. Stern knows what America wants and he says, “I’m the only damn American on the panel anyway”. Time to get this party started!

The show starts off with Howard saying the executives should be fired for choosing him as a judge.

The first contestant on the show is Aoni Jackson, a magician. Howard is a a huge fan of magic and is excited as Nick is chosen to help with the act by loaning his ring, but he can’t get it off so Howie loans his ring instead. This act is boring, the guy really didn’t do anything and then a screen comes down with him dressed in a sexy cop outfit, the guy does a strip tease and the only person that is impressed is Sharon, somewhat. Howie doesn’t want his ring back because it is now hanging from Aoni’s nipple. Howard says that he is disappointed, he just sees a guy take his pants off with a small package, Sharon is confused she doesn’t know if he is a stripper or magician, Howard goes on to say that as a stripper you can’t have man boobs, Howie is disgusted and doesn’t want his ring back. Aoni gets three XXX.

Next up is Miss. Les, the “Bird Lady”, she has 22 cockatiels with her. Howard asks her if she is a vegetarian and if she were on a deserted island, would she eat her own birds. Miss Les is a singer and although it’s a cute catchy song, the birds have no intention of singing with her. Howard gives her an X and tells her that he feels really bad but it wasn’t a million dollar act. On the other hand, Howie loved this and Howard starts arguing with him. Howie says YES he wants to see her again, Howie is a NO, her fate is left with Sharon Osbourne who says that Miss Less has a sweat voice and she says NO.

Next is a guy who sings “Proud Mary”, he gets three XXX and Howard tells him he is terrible, the guy responds that he would be hurt if he respected Howard’s opinion.

Next is another singer who tries to imitate Michael Jackson, Howard asks if his parents ever told him that he was terrible, the guys says his parents are dead and Howard asked if they died of embarrasment. Crap, Howard is holding nothing back!

More singers and a handful of awful acts including “Sexy Sax Man”, they all sucked. One girl was hot in pink short shorts but had no talent, Howard told her to go marry some rich guy, it worked out for Sharon. All of a sudden, we see Ozzie in the audience and they all have a good laugh about what Howard said.

Next is William Close who creates musical instruments for a living, he has brought his earth harp that has 3000 feet of string, it is so big that the theatre is his instrument. William has brought his fiance with him, she is five months pregnant. Howard is impressed, this guy is really good. All the judges aer up and give William a standing ovation. His fiance is proud and gets a hug from Nick, lucky bitch! Howie says that he was mesmerized, Sharon loved it, Howard said that he had given up hope, it was totally original and this is the reason he is here. Three YES votes, William is moving on.

OMG, its an all girl dance crew, Elements Dance Cru, they take clogging and add it to dance and music. They are certainly different, but a little strange for my taste and by far not a Vegas act. Sharon loved the whole concept of the dance group, Howard says he is a bit of a heathen because he usually fast forwards the dance acts but they were great, Howie said that he could see who was good and who wasn’t and they shouldn’t really be able to see that. It’s surprisingly three YES votes and on to Vegas, but I doubt they will go far.

Next is All Wheel Sports all the judges loved them, they are heading to Vegas. The amazing Elizabeth comes on next and does aerial silks, she doesn’t look more than 8 years old and is amazing, she’s on to Vegas as well. Chris LaBar freestyles and raps about the judges and gets a pass to Vegas.

Alexa and her dad, Jorge Narvaez are going to show the judges what they can do; he plays the guitar and sings, she sings. They were awesome! Sharon asks how old Alexa is and she says seven, Howard wishes Jorge was his dad, Howie says that he has seen them on You Tube. The judges vote, three YES votes, dad and his adorable daughter are going to Vegas. Nick loves these two, they make him want to go home, pull out his guitar and play with his daughter.

The first day is over, Howard has gotten his feet wet and had one of the most fun experiences of his life.

Ok, it’s time for the first act of the day, it is Ben Black, he has a cross bow act that is very dangerous. Howard digs his outfit and can’t wait to see what Ben is going to do. This guy is really good, handsome and a little arrogant. Howard wishes he looked like him and loved his remarkable act, Sharon loved the danger aspect and wants to know if he can step it up if he comes back to which Howard says that he kills the assistant next time, Howie loved the show and the GQ poses. All the judges vote, three YES votes means that they are on their way to Vegas and Howie gives us a GQ pose, love it!

Next is a special act, the lights have to go off for Light Wire Theatre as they perform in the dark. It’s basically dinosaurs in the dark and the audience and judges seem to love it. Sharon loved the combination of dance and the world of electronics, Howard said that we are the greatest country in the world with such creative people, he applauds them for lifting everyone’s spirits, Howie says they have taken illumination to a whole new level, it is three YES votes for them.

A handful of acts make it through to Vegas; a guy with a huge snake around his neck, he then takes out the largest venomous scorpion in the world and puts it in his mouth. A man with his dog Irving who talks, they make it through with incredible talent. Another dance crew, just two guys and they blow the judges minds.

Next is a really strange act, if I could explain what they look like, “bizarre gypsy” and they are circus side show performers, Snajula Vamana is going to take some sort of sharp object and pierce his cheek while Pinkerton beats the drum, he pierces the other cheek. Howie is the first X and covers his eyes. Snajula pierces himself with another one when the other two judges give him an X as well. Howard tells them that they remind him why he doesn’t like people, Howie says they look like Aladdin and Johnny Depps strange brothers, Sharon tells them definitely no. Nick is back stage with their young child who is in a stroller and tells him to get a nice accounting job when he grows up, priceless!

These acts did not make and almost got thrown off the stage; a group of boys blowing kazoos. Stormin’ Norman is next and he is dressed in bright orange, he decorates a pumpkin. Reggie is on stage now and tries to sing and dance, but he sucks with the rest of them. Nick Cannon has had enough, he gets on stage and starts rapping, tears off the tie and performs with Reggie on stage. This is why I love Nick, he takes off his shirt, oh my, what a sight!

Loyalty Dance Crew from TN, they all have day jobs, but they are regular people.  They want to stand up for people who are afraid to be themselves.  The crowd loved them and they got a standing ovation.  Sharon loves their passion and she thought they were amazing.  Howard says his expectations were low but they deserved the standing ovation.  All three judgs give them a YES!

Simply Sergio -He tells the judges he wants $1 million, he is 47 and he is a waiter.  He is a singer and a dancer and he cannot do either.  He gets a NO from Howard and Sharon almost immediately.  Meanwhile his wife and Nick dance in the background.  Howard tells him it was dreadful.  He asks them to let him sing God Bless America and give it another try.  Howard agrees because Howie has not said no yet.  This song is a lot better than his first try.  Howard gets up and gives Sergio a hug.  Howie tells Sergio when he came out he was funny, he is giving him a YES.  Sharon tells him to forget everything else except opera and it is a YES from her.  Sergio and Howard dance on stage.

Maurice and Shanice a father and daughter team.  They are street performers.  Once they opened their mouths and started singing you could tell they were special.  They are fantastic.  The judges and the audience give them a standing ovation.  Sharon asks Shanice why she is crying and she tells her it is a dream come true.  Sharon tells her she has a beautiful voice.  Howard tells them when a father and daughter come on they move him.  He thinks they are fantastic.  He thinks Shanice is fabulously cute and he thinks they are perfection.  Howie connects to all of it and he thinks Shanice is an angel.  Howie says she gave them the first real moment of season 7.  Sharon tells them again it was fantastic.  All the judges agree they are moving on, it is a YES!!!  Nick tells them they were fantastic and AGT is where dreams come true!

Howie tells St. Louis this is the first time they have been there, but it is not the last time.  Howard says they hit a home run with tonight.

Tomorrow the 2 night premiere continues.  San Francisco has a lot of heart, but does it have talent?  Make sure to come back, we will be live blogging the episode with all the up-to-the-minute details!  Don’t forget to come back because we are awesome!!!! :-)