If anyone thought Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s Vogue interview would be reveal anything we didn’t already know or cast the world’s most superficial couple in a slightly less deplorable light, they’d be sadly mistaken. It is every bit the superficial sh*t show I predicted it would be.
Vogue has released the first part of Kimye’s interview and I was correct when I said it would be a hapless continuation of what we already know about the couple. Kanye is a musical mad scientist who overdosed on Kanye kool-aide a long time ago, Kris Jenner is a social climbing sorcerer who has the brains of her children sitting in mason jars in her basement, and Kim is obsessed with all things superficial and ephemeral. End of interview.
During the interview, poor Nori was pretty much used as a prop in her parents coveted photo shoot and at one point the couple couldn’t even be bothered to entertain their own infant. “The fast-cooling Los Angeles afternoon air is filled with the scent of eucalyptus and mimosa, the gurgle of water as it tumbles down a fountain wall into a picture-perfect azure pool, the exultant strains of Pharrell Williams’s “Happy,” and a chorus of “Old MacDonald Had a Farm,” performed in unhappy a cappella by Annie Leibovitz and Kris Jenner.”
Call me an optimist, but I was at least expecting them speak of their child in terms of her developing personality and the impact parenthood has had on them, instead Kim plays dress up with her and Kanye makes break dancing videos. They seem to treat her as if she is a little doll who exists for her parents entertainment.”North’s parents have already involved her in their creative lives. “I take pictures of her all the time and dress her up,” says Kim. “I put Kanye’s big chains around her, and I put a little Louis bag and some Jordans, and I was like, ‘What up, Daddy?’ ” Kanye, meanwhile, has made an adorable little stop-frame video of North caught in her natural movements that he’s edited to make it appear as if she’s break-dancing.” Kris Jenner school of parenting 101.
I sincerely hope this interview gets better and that some semblance of either intrigue or awareness of the world around them manifests itself. At one point Kim came close when she discusses her relationship with Liz Taylor in the years before her death. Kim shared how much Liz’s charitable side touched her but things slid downhill quickly when the audience realizes that it wasn’t Liz’s charitable side that rubbed off on Kim, rather it was her glamorous presence and penchant for multiple marriages.
“Everything seemed so selfless for her,” Kim remembers. “We talked about the jewelry and how it ultimately didn’t belong to her; she just wanted to help people.” When Taylor’s estate was sold to benefit the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, Kim even acquired some of those jewels herself. She also went to look at Taylor’s house. “It was just so enchanting,” she remembers, “with a garden with really pretty trellises and beautiful roses, but it wasn’t realistic for me to purchase. It only had a one-car garage.”
Really Kim? It only had a one car garage? I can’t deal with these people. I just can’t. I doubt the second part will be any better, but if it is I will gladly retract my statement and give credit where credit is due. What do you guys think? Are these two interesting or is this interview an example of the decay of our society that people like these two have a platform?
Editor’s Note: The two best things about this Kim and Kanye Vogue trash issue are that I learned Nori’s new name – IGNORI and we had a great comment on one of the KK Vogue posts we did – “North looks like she is trying to figure out who these two people are.”
Editorial credit: Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
