Teresa Giudice just can’t catch a break. The jailed housewife will face yet another obtuse obstacle once her 15-month prison sentence comes to an end. According to those in the know, prosecutors struck a deal with Teresa and husband Joe Giudice regarding the couple’s outstanding debt. The two dim-witted stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey still owe the government $400,000 in restitution, and since neither Joe nor Teresa are earning money at the moment – fraud does that to you – they decided to give the government everything they own.
Scary men and women clad in scary jackets and scary pants will soon descend on the Giudices like a gaggle of John Travolta impersonators. They will seize furniture, cars, money, property and souls, all in one go. Even Bravo is in on the deal. The scandalous television network has agreed to give 25% of Teresa’s ‘salary’ to the government, which includes “any monies held on behalf of, or payable to Teresa Giudice”. Royalties, trademarks and producers galore! Let’s all have a party and pass out on our couches like the Schadenfreude drunks that we are!
Teresa’s lovely cellmate, Bob The Female Builder, wished upon a wealthy star, but now that Teresa is penniless, homeless, and sadder than Kourtney Kardashian at a free buffet, Bob The Female Builder wishes upon a swanky shank and an extra bite of prison meatloaf.
Will Teresa survive the post-prison onslaught? She will be alone, without Joe (he goes in when she comes out), shivering and shattering in an unforgiving world. At least Teresa will be with her children. Together, as a family, free and fortunate to have survived the most difficult time of her life. Yes, she did the crime and she definitely did the time, but the stake cannot burn forever. Perhaps, one day, when all of this is over, Teresa, Joe, and the children can watch the sun burn bright on the horizon, until it is extinguished by the night of another day.
Image credit to FameFlynet