The National Enquirer has loads of good gossip on this week’s cover! Angelina Jolie has deadly liver damage and her health, but more importantly, her wedding is on the line! From all her years of hard partying I guess? That’s the only reason I can think of for having liver damage but I’m not even totally sure where the liver is on the body so there’s that. Apparently her only hope is an organ transplant! So finally I understand why she adopted all those kids! She’s harvesting organs!
But you can’t have Angelina at death’s door without mentioning the wedding. Will it go on? The Enquirer’s cover states Brad Pitt is freaking out over the nuptials and pregnancy heartbreak. He is such a girl! But what pregnancy? Please feel free to laugh at me but I just did a routine google search and found that some liver diseases can result from pregnancy! So maybe it wasn’t the hard drinking childhood that brought on the failure. Perhaps it was her need to continue making ‘dem babies with Brad. So did your opinion of Angelina just change? Now are you sympathizing instead of ostracizing?
OK, I’ve had my fun but are you buying this story? I’m guessing it’s not remotely true but who ever really knows with Angelina. She is grossly skinny. If you wanted to make up a story about anyone collapsing due to liver failure, she’d be the best pick. But it could just be a slow news week. There are only so many times you can mention Kate Middleton’s boobs.
But then look who the cat dragged in! Monica Lewinsky’s tell-all has everyone guessing and the magazine has the inside scoop. She aborted Slick Willy’s love child! I’m so down for reading this book! Can you get pregnant by a cigar! Hopefully the Enquirer will let us know!
And then there’s something on poor Sally Struthers. She’s a hoarder. That makes me sad but I won’t make fun of her because she was on two of the best shows in history – All In The Family and Gilmore Girls. Yes, it’s perfectly OK to like both! So lay off Sally! She just got a DUI I think too. Pull it together Sally! Amanda Bynes should hang with Sally. It might scare her straight.
So I think the Enquirer’s given us a nice cornucopia of goodness today. It’s worth checking out. I might be suspicious of the Angelina Jolie Collapses story but, like I said, you never really know with her!