Lindsay Lohan Will Relax While on House Arrest

Lindsay Lohan Will Relax While on House Arrest

Lindsay Lohan is about to do some hardcore time–not behind bars, of course, that would just be ridiculous. No, no, prison is not a place for our dear friend LiLo. House arrest is much more suitable. And Lindsay already knows how she’ll be spending her long, sad days while trapped in the confines of her townhouse near the beach (which I’m sure is not glitzy or glamorous at all).

Lindsay Lohan, as reported by TMZ, plans to do a copious amount of painting, lots of reading, and a good deal of relaxing while wearing a pretty spectacular bracelet provided by law enforcement. She says she’s looking forward to this time where she can “relax, focus on her recovery, and figure out a new game plan for her career and life.

Phew! I’m so glad she’s alloted herself some time for self-reflection. After stealing bracelets from classy boutiques and making other less-than-wonderful life choices, I think a mandatory period of self-meditation time will do wonders for the starlet.

This is a good thing for you, Lindsay. Light a candle (whatever aroma relaxes you), turn on some music, set up your little easel, prepare your acrylic paints (primary colors = red, blue, yellow) . . . and try not to think about the fact that you cannot leave your own home. You cannot. And please, don’t try. We don’t want you to go to big-people’s jail.

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