Michael Lohan Divorce: Kate Major Cites Rehab Undermining Teddy Bear in Separation Filing

Michael Lohan Divorce: Kate Major Cites Rehab Undermining Teddy Bear in Separation Filing

Michael Lohan (tsk tsk) will see his estranged wife, Kate Major, in divorce court soon. This comes after Lohan allegedly “sabotaged” Major’s rehab trip by sending her a teddy bear with a cellphone inside. Kate Major has filed for legal separation.

Shawshank just got redemption.

Although the couple separated and called it quits in October, Major kept on keeping on, because, you know, rehab. Lohan, the insufferable clinger, refused to let go – he purportedly called the rehab facility on a daily basis and demanded updates on Major’s progress.

Obsessive love or stalkerish madness?

On 2 December, Major received “a package”. Enter: Law & Order theme song. Said mystery package – was it sent via FedEx? – contained a teddy bear – cute if you’re Mickey Rourke – with a cellphone hidden inside.

A note – written in serial killer font – read, “Please keep this between us only.” We are unsure whether Lohan ended the note with “XOXO” or “Love, Lohan”. But Major knew that it came from none other than Discovery Channel’s Stalker of the Year.

If you’re not too clued up on rehab rules, patients aren’t allowed to keep cell phones on them during treatment. You don’t want patients phoning their dealers for (insert vice of choice here). It kind of ruins the whole rehab experience.

Michael Lohan denies the allegations (obviously). According to him, “I never sent Kate any package. The papers say that she got the package from her friends, not me. The treatment center that she’s in, Sovereign Health, is behind this because I’m suing them because the last time Kate was out there they permitted her to sneak into the male dorm and have sex with one of the other patients. Sovereign is behind this entire thing. What treatment center allows more drama from clients who are in there to resolve indifference – this is the absolute wrong time for Kate and I to be butting heads. We should be on a united front for the sake of our children.”

Michael Lohan should become a politician.

As for Major, well, she wants the Maserati, the kids – the couple lost custody of the children after a massive fight in October – and the BMW.

Now that’s what you call The Green Mile.

What do you think? Is Michael Lohan to blame for Kate Major’s rehab kick? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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