Rob Kardashian went from zero to hero in a matter of hours. The estranged Kardashian was hospitalized last week while on the verge of a diabetic coma. Unfortunately, Rob didn’t get Uri Gellar’s special spoon-bending powers for almost dying; he got something much more exciting – sponsorship deals, endorsements and a newfound celebrity status.
Tragedy is a creative little vixen, isn’t she?
“Five Hour Diabetic” (no, it’s not a sugar thief’s superpower name) offered Rob a whopping $100,000 payment, as well as royalties, profits and Donald Trump’s toupee, to become the company’s official spokesperson.
But that’s not all!
The company, which designs specialized meal plans for Type 2 diabetics, will throw in a lifetime membership (take that Subway!) and unlimited medical consultations. All Rob Kardashian has to do is smile, wave and do an advertisement or two.
We are sincerely happy for the dude. He deserves something special after living with that bunch of trashy Kardashians for so long.
And then came the ultimate punch from none other than sister Kim Kardashian West.
(Insert “Jaws” theme song)
The Wicked Witch from the West (ha!) bullied her brother’s weight gain on a recent episode of KUWTK.
Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner were having a good ol’ chat about tattoos. Kris nodded, Kim smiled and the devil appeared in a blue dress (I assume).
Here’s the story: Rob covered his ex-girlfriend’s name with a tattoo of his other ex-girlfriend, Rita Ora, because the first rule of getting a tattoo is to not get your girlfriend/boyfriend’s name inked on your skin, but Rob didn’t get the memo, because it’s Rob, you know?
So Kim said, “[Rob] covered [the name] with a life-sized Barbie doll of Rita [Ora] that has now turned into a Cabbage Patch Doll. Have you seen it lately? It was like a Barbie doll and he’s gained weight and it’s now like a huge Cabbage Patch Kid. Huge!”
And that’s what you missed on the most messed up AF episode of these horrible people’s horrible lives.
Bullies, bitches and a new life for Rob Kardashian. Bittersweet isn’t always bitter.
Let us know that you think about this twisted tale in the comments below.
Image Credit: FameFlynet