Jennifer Aniston Pregnancy Announcement Expected During Oscar Red Carpet?

Jennifer Aniston Pregnancy Announcement Expected During Oscar Red Carpet?

They say the camera adds ten pounds, but not just around your belly! Jennifer Aniston has been on baby watch since she and Brad Pitt first made eye contact, and unless she shares Kate Middleton’s ability to be pregnant with a perfectly flat stomach (and six pack to boot), she’s still waiting to get knocked up! She and hubby Justin Theroux would have the prettiest (if not most vain and talentless) children, and many are queuing up to get a glimpse of her mid section at this year’s Oscars. The Academy Awards is a night of tight-fitting dresses and red carpet interviews, and this year will be no exception. If Jen is pregnant, we’ll know this Sunday!

Of course, if pregnant, Jen may be hoping for a more dramatic announcement, like a 2-hour talkshow special. The woman is a whore for fame and money—if her recent movies are any indication! But the Oscars will be a night of bright lights, which should give us some defining shadow on her dress, hopefully giving us the news we’ve been waiting for: that Jennifer is infertile, and her offspring will never terrorize the earth!

Honestly, being on baby watch is very exciting, but let’s consider the greater good: I just don’t think a Jen and Justin baby would do anyone any good! If anything, we should be focusing our efforts on preventing her from getting pregnant! It’s not like she and Justin don’t provide us with any other meat to chew on. Besides being in constant fights, resorting to bizarre couples therapy treatments, and having an either non-existent or hot-n-wild sex life, we get to encourage paparazzi to invade their future wedding, providing us with slightly-pixelized photos of Queen Jen. She may complain about the privacy invasion, but you know she’ll be thrilled to see her face on the cover of a magazine! Do you think Jen and Justin are planning on a baby? Would a pregnancy be cause for celebration or tears?

Editor’s Note: Looking at 10 year old pics of Jen and Brad showing up for the Emmys we see two things: 1) her nose has been bobbed further since then; 2) she always had saggy breasts.

SEE KRIS JENNER’S SAGGY BARE BREASTS – WARNING GROSS!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet



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  • http://twitter.com/mustntbenamed Ross The Divorcer

    What I think is that whoever wrote this article is a bitter old hag. You act like you don’t know the woman when all you do is copy-paste tabloid crap. How in the world would you know what she’s like? How are you not ashamed to say that you hope she’s infertile because her ‘offspring would terrorize this Earth.’ It’s people like the author of this article who terrorize this Earth and making me sick they belong to the same species as me! Disgusting! Not to mention, how in the world would you know what her sex life with Justin is? BTW, he’s her fiance, not her husband just yet. Whoever wrote this article should be ashamed of themselves!

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  • Chyne

    Wow. Wishing infertility on a woman that did nothing to you? That is a new, new low. Just beware of the karma you bring upon yourself and any future generation of yours. It will be unreal.

  • Dragonfly10192002

    Whoa. Why all the venom for Jennifer Aniston, of all boring people?

  • Sincerely

    Dear person who wrote this article,

    Go f*ck yourself, get a dildo, go watch some porn because that has to be the reason for your complete bitch fit directed at Ms. Aniston. Who exactly pissed in your cereal this morning to make you write such hateful things? Go do something productive with your life and try to refrain from writing disgusting articles such as the one above.

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  • Katie

    What did Jennifer Aniston ever do to you? You wish infertility on her? Oh, and your article is the most boring piece of shit I’ve ever read in my life. Seriously. Never ever post an article again. Please. Please, don’t. “We should be focusing on how to prevent her from getting pregnant.” ? WTH? We should be focusing on ways to prevent you from getting pregnant, whoever wrote this shitty article!

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