Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Not In Love – Twilight Contractual Obligations Forced Them To Reconcile!

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Not In Love – Twilight Contractual Obligations Forced Them To Reconcile!

If you have been devoid of any life for the past few years, you might not know that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson star in a little film franchise called Twilight. These films have been more over-hyped than Smell-O-Vision cartridges in the 70’s, but millions of people have succumbed to Twilight fever – the symptoms include drooling, lycanthropy and glitter bombed skin. These two lifeless creatures were dating for a few years, until Stewart cheated on Pattinson one fine morning with a sleaze named Rupert Sanders.

All hell broke loose and the universe came to a standstill. The four horsemen of the Apocalypse arrived at Stewart’s doorstep, rang the doorbell and ran away. It was one of the most career-ending moments in the history of Hollywood. Thousands of entertainment writers were stuck to their chairs and reported on the scandal for weeks on end, until conflicting reports resurfaced a couple of weeks ago that Stewart and Pattinson were back together again. Fans were astonished at the quick reconciliation and forums were filled up with, “Hey, weren’t angry people planning to eat Kristen a few weeks ago? What happened?” We know what happened. We always know what happened.

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 will be released soon. A film of this magnitude requires steady PR, clever promotional events and a re-firing of talent/character chemistry. Producers of said film require the cast to be on their best behavior and sell the film to every journalist known to man. However, Pattinson and Stewart weren’t able to do such a heavy promotional tour with the negative vibes between them and as this could have resulted in theatrical tantrums at the promotional events, they had to reconcile.

Are they in love again? Is all forgiven? Are the two most famous actors in the movie industry back at writing poetry to one another on moon-lit evenings? Nope. There’s something called “contractual obligation”. This basically means that Stewart and Pattinson signed a contract for the PR and promotion of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2. If said contract were to be broken, careers would be destroyed and producers would be throwing themselves off bridges. There were no shallow epiphanies, no sparkly tears, no bursts of “omg-I-forgive-you”, and definitely no hugs. You have been duped.

Let us outline it for you more simplistically, shall we? Hypothetically, if Stewart or Pattinson were to be on non-speaking terms to one another at the promotional events, Breaking Dawn Part 2 might have suffered a severe box office hit from Stewart/Pattinson fandom. If Pattinson and Stewart were still broken up, the conversation would have been: “Joanie, we’re not going to Breaking Dawn Part 2 anymore because of K-Stewart! I am boycotting that bitch’s movie. She doesn’t deserve Robert! She deserves to be eaten by a Wendigo on Christmas Eve, so she won’t be able to open any presents!

However, the complete opposite is true for reconciliation: “Joanie, we’re so going to Breaking Dawn Part 2! I want to see K-Stewart and R-Pattinson get together! She deserves Robert! She deserves to be eaten by a unicorn with a cupcake in its mouth!”

If you think Pattinson and Stewart are back together, you need to spill the Kool-Aid and drop the Jim Jones garb – it’s so last week. Do you think these two are really back together? Do you think it’s a contractual obligation? Let us know in the comments below how much you’re obsessed with Kristen Stewart – remember, “Without stalking you can’t be talking!

Photo Credit: Reis/Fame Pictures

23 responses to “Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Not In Love – Twilight Contractual Obligations Forced Them To Reconcile!”

  1. I think this is bullcrap, you,ll make up anything to piss people off! Rob and Kristen Love eachother, the way they look at eachother, that is real, true love! Please stop saying crap about them!!

  2. DJ says:

    Ridiculous article! Stewart and Pattinson were enjoying each others company in the notoriously private Soho House last night. No contract. No PR. Just a young couple hanging out. It baffles me why people can not just accept this and get over their unusual and completely fabricated theories. Reiner you have just exposed yourself as a fraud.

  3. No one of any importance, including me, ever reads these comments. you don’t want to know what I think. & it does not matter what I think. I can’t wait to see Breaking Dawm part 2! No matter what lies or truths are out there, Hope R & K are just HAPPY!

  4. CCK says:

    You are so full of shit– anyone who has followed this couple know this is completely off base. Robsten is the real deal. And that just isn’t juicy enough for you to report it.

  5. Jane says:

    The entire thing has been one great big contractual obligation from the very beginning. If people can’t see through this bull crap they need to take off their rose colored glasses. It’s very clear. And the Soho sighting, just like the sighting of them driving in the car together was made up. It was made up by an overzealous “robsten” fan, trying to get everyone worked up. They were not at Soho house last night. Rob however, was out again tonight, without Kristen, with a group of his buddies AGAIN. And there is picture proof. Actions speak louder than words.

  6. JM says:

    bitches are crazy, of course their whole romance, or should I say showmance, was and will always be a huge pr move. Only kids and weirdos with nothing better to do believe this.

  7. Marlena_M says:

    SoHo house? Yeah right…. Rob was at a concert last night…with MALE friends. No KStew in sight. There’s even photographic evidence. Now, where’s the love? Actions speak louder than words, and now think about what Rob did recently? Charity events, Emmy parties, concerts….all AFTER he and K supposedly got back together, but he was only with his friends. Doesn’t that tell you something?

  8. Ulanda says:

    PLZ, everyone knows they are a fake couple at this point & it’s PR for the movies, which no one cares about anymore.

  9. Amen. What Summit doesn’t realize is there are many of us who are very happy that they are no longer a couple. I don’t think I could stomach them on the big screen if I actually thought they were back together. As it is, I wish i had a pair of anti-shrew goggles to wear so that she wouldn’t show up on the screen at all. lol

  10. […] Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Not In Love – Twilight Contractual Obligations Forced The… If you have been devoid of any life… […]

  11. […] the Kool-Aid from the people over at Summit Entertainment who put out the Twilight movies and now Pattinson is forced to deal with Stewart until at least the promotional duties end. I bet Pattinson can’t wait until the end of this […]

  12. […] Dirty Laundry a few days ago that Pattinson and Stewart were “rekindling” their romance due to forceful contractual obligations by the Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 producers and the Summit production company. We still believe […]

  13. […] Trampy to have no joint public appearances before the premiere cause a strain on their attempt to fix their broken relationship?  Only time will tell if these two can hold off being seen in public until their Breaking […]

  14. JUN_JUN says:

    This Rupert and Kristen affair is not just about cheating
    this is also about hideous scheme of getting ahead of a futuristic career plan
    for both or just Kristen’s way of moving
    further on her acting career. It’s not that she’s sexually attracted to Rupert,
    the guy is just one of stepping stone to move forward, she just have to thank
    him the Hollywood way that’s all and unfortunately SWATH seems to be stalled at
    the moment. Which both Rupert and Kristen thought is the next box office movie
    and can be bigger than twilight, you can refer to interviews they both had on
    swath promos. So the mistake everyone’s
    talking about shouldn’t be focus on the cheating part, its more than that. The
    recklessness of Rupert and Kristen that got them in trouble which righteousness
    came hammering down on them. I guess that’s what happens when ego got big.

  15. […] if these two will be holding hands, posing together on the red carpet on November 15th.  Are they really in love? Did Pattinson really accept the apology of his two-timing girlfriend/costar? Sure, I do tend to […]

  16. […] eye and a general disbelief that she did anything wrong. Perhaps Pattinson should take a leap and change this nappy for good? Remember guys and dolls; never, ever, ever loop the poop in your […]

  17. […] we buying this sudden Ryan O’ Neal/Ali MacGraw Love Story reunion? Not a chance. The cheapened Stewart and Pattinson relationship is a manufactured piece of cotton candy crafted by a clever marketing nerd at Summit Entertainment, the production company behind the […]

  18. […] However, the plagued couple reconciled and the Stewart/Pattinson spotting phenomenon was born, much like bird spotting, or animal testing. Allegedly, it works on a Twitter honour system – you spot the Patty and the wife and you win a “Happy” badge! No, not really, we’re yanking your chain, just like Summit Entertainment is yanking our chain with this ludicrous tale of love. […]

  19. […] Twilight movie.  I’m not normally this cynical, but the video speaks for itself.  There is no connection with these two anymore.  They break my […]

  20. […] is being forced to schlepp around a confused and gawky-looking Kristen on this bullshit show of reconciliation and he looks like he […]

  21. Well said, I agree with you, it’s to bad that we both won’t ever find out if this love was real or not, I’d like to think it was true.

  22. Tinka says:

    “The four horsemen of the Apocalypse arrived at Stewart’s doorstep, rang the doorbell and ran away.” Probably one of the BEST sentences ever written! :’D