Taylor Swift To Marry Conor Kennedy and Give Birth To The Future President!

Taylor Swift To Marry Conor Kennedy and Give Birth To The Future President!

Ah, poor Taylor Swift is so desperate to get married to Conor Kennedy and have his baby, that she will punch little people in the supermarket aisle. Sources revealed in the latest National Enquirer Print Edition (September 10th) that Taylor is obsessed with becoming the next Jackie Kennedy, that she’ll do everything in her power to have a Kennedy kid. Dude, first of all, chills y’alls fudge out. The Kennedy’s might be US royalty, but they’re definitely not the best thing since the invention of rainbows. We have a proposition, right; perhaps you should play dress-up and write a song about your experience? You do write songs, don’t you? Oh, damn, sorry, we have to bite our tongue again! You don’t write songs, you write poetry – according to your fans.

A source told National Enquirer, “It’s World War III. Many of the Kennedys loathe Taylor and don’t want anything to do with her. They think she’s using her fame as a singer to worm her way into the fold… Taylor badly wants to marry Conor and have a Kennedy baby. She sees herself as the next Jackie O and aims to become as famous as she was, a style icon on a world stage.”

Oh my God, will Taylor Swift please just get a damn life? How, in the mind of a man-using lunatic, does she see herself as famous as Jackie O? She wrote a few songs about heartbreak and was almost punched by Kanye West. How does this make the bitch famous?

The source adds, “Taylor’s already looking for the perfect wedding dress… she wants a vintage ‘60s gown. Conor is besotted with Taylor and insists the relationship is for real, but it’s no wonder he’s so smitten – just think, here’s a boy who lost his mom in the most tragic circumstances, his dad’s busy romancing a Hollywood star and Taylor is no[w] the main female in his life.” This might give us some details about Conor, but all it does is make Taylor sound like a manipulating vixen that is hell bent on taking over Conor’s life.

Taylor, who is close to Ethel Kennedy, is banking on her approval for marriage. The source says, “Taylor is banking on Ethel’s approval for a marriage, and then she’ll have Conor’s baby. She can’t wait to cradle that baby – it would be her passport into Kennedy history. He thinks they’ll split their time between Massachusetts and Nashville and that they’ll live happily ever after. But he hasn’t even started college yet!”

Taylor, sit down and shut up. You’re being that girl again. Don’t be that girl. It’s not very cool of you. Please let us know in the comments what you think of this and please, before you comment that nonsense about us never being as famous as Taylor, we get it right? We’ve heard them all before.

Taylor Swift To Marry Conor Kennedy and Give Birth To The Future President!

 Image Credits: KM/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES and Us Weekly

2 responses to “Taylor Swift To Marry Conor Kennedy and Give Birth To The Future President!”


  2. […] Taylor’s mantra has become, “Do not mess this up. Everything will come crashing down if you mess this up!” Sorry Taylor, but if one of dozens of […]