Kristen Stewart and Lane Garrison Move In Together and Hook Up Because Lane’s A Better Lover Than Robert Pattinson!

Kristen Stewart and Lane Garrison Move In and Hook Up Because Lane's A Better Lover Than Robert Pattinson!

Kristen Stewart and Lane Garrison have moved in together according to omg! and Kristen and Lane are enjoying a total sex fest!  Kristen has been so miserable lately that it is nice to see her happy again. The source said, as regards the new couple’s cohabitation, “He doesn’t live in LA so he moved out of his hotel when they became close and moved into the guest wing of her house in Los Feliz.

Kristen’s on again-off again off romantic comedy with bitter temperamental Robert Pattinson has left Kristen celibate and crawling the walls for a real man to satisfy her apparently unsatisfied libido. Let’s remember that while dating the hunk of Hollywood – the man of millions of women’s fantasies – that she actively engaged in desperate oral sex in a car with old and married Rupert Sanders.  Is this the behavior of a woman being satisfied in bed? Hardly.

So sure, Lane is a bit of a wild one with anger management problems, substance abuse issues, a serious criminal record – but he is a ‘real man.’  Robert, on the other hand, is boring, pouty, and just could never satisfy Kristen sexually.  People cheat because they are unsatisfied – therefore Robert Pattinson must be a lame lover.

We’ve been hard on Kristen for helping to destroy Liberty Ross’s marriage and family life but now we begin to see it an a slightly different light.  Sure Kristen has the morals of a Michael Jackson and the manners of an Alec Baldwin but the ultimate reason for her breakup with Rob is that he couldn’t make her see stars – he forced her to see other stars!

So go for it Kristen.  Ignore the moronic comments from media trolls who say that Lane’s not good enough for you – they aren’t screwing him, you are.

  • Parker

    A real man. Your definition of manhood is a man who gets drunk, drives and kills the underage teenager in his car. Goes to jail. Gets out. And beats up his girlfriend. I’m assuming this entire article is satirical, right?

    • thebutcher

      I was thinking that too. A real man protects his woman. Roberto must be THE WORST author on this site, and that’s saying a lot since most of them probably can’t pass basic high school english

  • saucy

    ” they aren’t screwing him, you are.” hahahaha

  • allie

    Doesn’t Lane beat his women?

    • carrie

      he slapped her during an argument (there is a video) but apparently his wife was not angelic anymore

  • thebutcher

    Why is this site so obsessed with that talentless DIRTY slut. It’s like there’s a vendetta against rob. He was the one who got his heart ripped out, not the tramp. No one wants to go down on a woman who doesn’t wash herself at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of her with clean hair

  • Pamela

    This all seems like a horrible idea.

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