Kristen Stewart Has Trained Robert Pattinson As Her Sex Slave?

Kristen Stewart Has Trained Robert Pattinson As Her Sex Slave?

We knew Kristen Stewart was underhanded, but never thought she would be so clever as to use sex as a tool! Robert Pattinson was hurt and abandoned last summer after learning of her affair, but she’s won him back with some Fifty Shades of Grey worthy kinky sex! That’s right! A new report gives the sexy details on what the world’s favorite vampire couple does when the sun sets, and the details are borderline disturbing! The story claims the couple are at it like rabbits (or rabid vampires?) and have sex seven times a day!

A source reported to Star Magazine, print edition January 21, 2013, “Kristen knows exactly how to please Rob. They have a very active sex life.” I don’t want to sound twelve, but gross. I don’t like thinking about Kristen because of her hair and dirty white t-shirts. The thought of her—well, it’s not pleasant! But she has worked out how to keep Rob by her side forever! The source claims she’s “made a point to ‘train’ Rob” in the ways of her bizarre brand of lovin’!

What’s more surprising, is that when Kristen’s expertise runs out, “they regularly buy stuff, anything from costumes to DVDs” to spice it up! Rob and Kristen “like handcuffs, blindfolds, and feathers.” It isn’t quite Christian Grey level kinky, but the trickery is there! I never doubted that Kristen was an wily minx, and it’s nice to be proven right. Of course, she and Rob have been fighting like cats and can’t seem to repair the cracks in their foundation, so sex is all they’ve got left!

The vampire lovers haven’t started the year off well. Not only did they celebrate Christmas apart after a blowout fight, they’re rumored to be stressed about their post-Twilight careers. Without their vampire alter egos to fall back on, they’ll have to seek out new work—a task that hasn’t gone well for Rob so far, considering his last three films were flops. His only hope seems to be in his association with Kristen, and I guess if he gets a bit of gross sex out of it, the better for him! Do you think they’ll make it through the year, or is Kristen filling the holes in their relationship with feathers and blindfolds?

Kristen Stewart Has Trained Robert Pattinson As Her Sex Slave?

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2 responses to “Kristen Stewart Has Trained Robert Pattinson As Her Sex Slave?”

  1. […] been fighting a lot,” the friend confides. It seems like Rob is clinging on to Kristen to save his acting career, but is really just damaging his reputation! The guy comes off as a […]

  2. […] isn’t following him down under! We reported that Kristen has already trained Rob to be her super freaky sex slave, and it looks like she’ll be employing similar tactics to hold on to her man while he’s half a […]