The National Enquirer has practically made an art of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fan fiction, and we’re once again presented with the task of translating their creatively nonsensical story. See, their headline is clearly click bait, screaming ‘Brad Pitt cheating on Angelina Jolie’! But with who? Dun dun dun… cigarettes. Anti-climatic, right?
Apparently, Angelina has begged and begged Brad to quit smoking cigarettes [although I assume weed is fine], but he hasn’t listened. In fact, he’s reportedly constantly sneaking out and having a smoke whenever he gets the chance, and it’s getting on Angelina’s nerves.
The Enquirer’s source claims, “Angie’s fed up with all the deceitful behavior. She’s sick and tired of nagging Brad to stop smoking. And every time he promised he had, she’d catch him in the lie — because she could smell smoke on his hair.”
I feel like I’m reading a really bad romance novel, but one that’s been abridged to a mere summary. Brad wanted to smoke. Angelina made him stop. He didn’t listen. She got mad. She yelled at him. He still didn’t listen. They fought. He promised he would stop smoking. He lied.
That’s the gist of this report. But listen, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are just fine, and I’m telling you that as someone who’s relatively ambivalent towards the Brangelina craze. The media will always try to break them up, but they’re one of the few couples that will stand the test of time in Hollywood, and that’s because they literally have nobody better to hook up with. Most people in Hollywood cheat because they found a better option – someone more famous, richer, more attractive, etc. How can either Brad or Angelina find someone more attractive, more famous, or richer than each other?
For that matter, how can they find anyone else remotely on their level? So no, a divorce isn’t happening. Also, Brad isn’t going to risk messing up his looks by smoking, trust me. He’s so careful to not even put on a couple of pounds, so there’s no way he’s risking the facial lines and wrinkles that come from smoking regularly.
