Jennifer Aniston has been pregnant a dozen times this year, if we are going by the tabloids. She’d be like a miraculous re-producing machine, one that would probably get taken in and experimented on by the government.
In Touch Weekly claims in their latest cover issue that Jennifer is five months pregnant, somehow bypassing the non-existent weight gain and baby bump. Well, if she’s a miracle baby maker, I’m sure she has her tricks.
The magazine’s source suggests that Jennifer is planning to raise the baby by herself because she doesn’t want to rely on Justin Theroux, who is ‘reluctant to settle down’. No shit. He’s in the midst of filming a TV show for HBO, which could be a breakout hit for him if it works. At this point, Jennifer Aniston >>> Justin Theroux when it comes to career visibility, and Justin’s ego won’t stand for him staying as Mr. Jennifer Aniston all of his life.
No, he’d rather be engaged indefinitely and not have any permanent ties to Jennifer. If there’s a baby, then he’ll be obligated to stay, and Jennifer knows it. Heck, even if there’s a baby, In Touch’s source makes it seem like he doesn’t care. But since there probably is no baby, we’re just going to say that Justin’s likely to ‘abandon’ Jennifer either way.
In Touch’s cover issue also has an extensive story on Justin Bieber making two girls pregnant. Apparently, he’s been trying to give the girls some hush money to keep them quiet, but at this point, is anyone surprised by this? Even if it’s not true, our willingness to believe it says a lot about Justin’s place in the media. The little douche has absolutely no one fooled, with the exception of his girlfriend, Selena Gomez. Speaking of which, I wonder how she’ll react to Justin’s pregnancies? I mean, you’d think that several racist videos were enough to turn her off, but there they are, still going strong.