Kristen Stewart To Sue Joan Rivers For Calling Her a Slut Who Uses Sex To Further Her Career in ‘Diary of a Mad Diva’

Kristen Stewart To Sue Joan Rivers For Calling Her a Slut Who Uses Sex To Further Her Career in 'Diary of a Mad Diva'

Joan Rivers is the personification of terror. The loud-mouthed and super controversial Rivers is a batty, bitchy, opinionated and insanely eccentric geriatric. Her gaudy feuds are legendary, because she shoots straight from her crumbling hip and ignores the repercussions and consequences of her actions. Rivers’ new book, “Diary of a Mad Diva” (brilliant title!), rips apart our favourite ingénue: Kristen Stewart.

An excerpt reads, “Many stars only do one thing well. Of course, the best one-trick-pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle a director’s balls.”

Very ballsy, Rivers. Touché.

Stewart’s affair with her infamous paramour, director Rupert Sanders, almost destroyed her useless career. She is still recovering from the public backlash and the hate mail, so when Rivers’ sardonic commentary was made public, Stewart went into a blind rage, phoned up her lawyers and whispered, “Burn that bitch down!” She threatened to sue for defamation, which is funny because defamation is defined as “the communication of a false statement that harms the reputation of an individual”. The statement is true and Stewart’s reputation is beyond repair, so pack up the dramatic lawyers and sit the duck down!

Kristen Stewart To Sue Joan Rivers For Calling Her a Slut Who Uses Sex To Further Her Career in 'Diary of a Mad Diva'

Threats are usually followed up by more threats, but it’s all quiet on the Stewart front. It seems the lawyers and their letters went for lunch at McDonalds and never returned – the friggin’ clown ate them!

Stewart isn’t the only victim though… Dun dun dun!

According to Rivers, Tyra Banks is a “narcissistic loser [who’s] always standing up for herself and her race over perceived slights. For example, she’ll say ‘You just pushed me because I’m black.’ No, I pushed you because the train was coming right at you, you bulimic twit!”

She also takes on Renée Zellweger (her face is so tight she could “whisper in her own ear”), Sienna Miller (what can you buy a woman “who has had everyone?”), Jennifer Aniston (“dated, been cheated on and dumped” by almost every man in Hollywood), Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Anne Hathaway and etc.

Lock up your bladders – Rivers is coming to town and she’s hungrier than a shark with dentures!

Kristen Stewart To Sue Joan Rivers For Calling Her a Slut Who Uses Sex To Further Her Career in 'Diary of a Mad Diva'

4 responses to “Kristen Stewart To Sue Joan Rivers For Calling Her a Slut Who Uses Sex To Further Her Career in ‘Diary of a Mad Diva’”

  1. […] maintained that loyalty and honesty were the things that he values most in a relationship and Kristen’s betrayal of these things probably killed her relationship with Rob for good. The actor seems a whole lot […]

  2. R.M. 4 sure says:

    Although we are not fans of Stewart in any way, and truly despise that vampire fluff, we must agree that Rivers has a trash receptacle where her mouth should be. Rivers is trying desperately to hold onto a career that died off decades ago, a career that nobody has ever cared about. While Stewart is young, and although she has made bad choices, is far from a one-trick pony. In the end, this is just more Hollywood nonsense, and Rivers only claim to fame is the ability to point her finger at someone else.

  3. […] Bat-mad Rivers’ new book, Diary of a Mad Diva, is creating an apocalyptic celebrity tsunami. Rivers makes it abundantly clear that she hates everyone, except Kelly “Oh-Joan!” Osbourne, naughty Satan, and fur. […]

  4. […] just can’t get enough of Joan Rivers. The controversial mad bat is leaving an unflattering path of destruction in her wake since the release of her acidic new […]