Suri Cruise’s Lost Dog Found: Blame Katie Holmes For Missing Chihuahua – Did She Buy A Replacement Puppy?

Suri Cruise's Lost Dog Found: Blame Katie Holmes For Missing Chihuahua - Did She Buy A Replacement Puppy?

Suri Cruise’s new Chihuahua is missing. Suri and Katie Holmes (Mother-Maniac) took Honey (Chihuahua-Ohgawdgone) to a friend’s house in Beverly Hills on Sunday. Katie and The Friend (dum-de-dum!) were sipping on Mimosas when Honey escaped through the gate. The teeny-weeny pup disappeared like Bruce Jenner’s face. Katie screamed, Suri cried and The Friend ran into a wall. Where is Honey? Gone, gone, gone!

Suri and her dumb mom are offering a $1000 reward for Honey’s safe return. They issued a pet Amber alert and plastered 50 (seriously?) reward posters in the area. It’s a classic case of “find the collar, find the dog”- Oh, wait, Honey didn’t wear a collar because someone removed it to take the pup swimming. Cruel. Twist. Fate.

The area is a “known coyote hotspot” i.e. Murder Wi-Fi. Coyotes hate Chihuahuas. Hungry coyotes hate Chihuahuas and Tom Cruise. Extremely hungry coyotes hate Chihuahuas, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Cruel. Twist. F**ck! Please find Honey!

Suri – bless her heart – adopted Honey from a Studio City rescue a couple of weeks ago. The family of three then moved into their new house in Calabasas (Kardashian country), and Honey was as happy as a bee. Unfortunately Calabasas is a “known irresponsible hotspot”. Kim Kardashian failed her kitten, Kris Jenner took a pig to a party and Kendall Jenner dumped dog poop in the kitchen’s trash bin. Death becomes the Kardashians, except for Bruce Jenner. The man’s tight face lights up like Gary Busey’s brain when someone does something irresponsible e.g. Kim naming her kid after a compass.

When are they bringing in the psychics? Crystal ball on the wall, who is the dumbest of them all? “His name starts with a ‘B’. Brian? Brad? No, that’s not right. Bruce? Could it be Bruce?” Shut up and look for Honey!

Do you live in the area? Have you spotted Honey? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Update: According to TMZ Honey was found! According to sources there is however some doubt as to whether the chihuahua that was ‘found’ was really Honey or a ringer. Perhaps guilty Katie arranged for a pup to be ‘discovered’ so Suri would feel better?


6 responses to “Suri Cruise’s Lost Dog Found: Blame Katie Holmes For Missing Chihuahua – Did She Buy A Replacement Puppy?”

  1. weirswalker says:

    Another irresponsible pet owner..she could have afforded a doggie sitter for cripes sake !

    • distachio says:

      I bet your dog never got out while you were home, right? And you are watching him/her every second of every day? Do you assume that every beloved missing dog whose picture shows up on your FB newsfeed has “irresponsible” owners, or do you only assume that when you don’t like the owner?

      They were ON the same premises as the dog when she slipped through an opening in the fence.

      Ugh, I can’t believe I’m defending that marginal actress Katie Holmes, but at least she didn’t spend thousands of dollars to buy a “purse dog” from a puppy mill; she adopted her from a non-profit rescue organization, and enlisted their help when the dog escaped. She deserves some credit for that.

  2. NeverLetMeGo says:

    I think that photo of the dog in a pink tutu explains why it ran away.
    That being said a Chihuahua running down the street in a pink tutu cannot be too hard to spot.
    Although it might be mistaken for a fifth Kardashian sister.

  3. distachio says:

    You know, I don’t like Katie Holmes at all, but this was low, even for you. As if they were the only people in the world whose dog ever got out of their yard! F*** you! Our chihuahua got out right after we first got her because she was FAST and we hadn’t yet modified our side gate to block her small size. Suri’s dog slipped through wrought iron gates at a friend’s house. She wasn’t wearing a collar because she had just had a bath (or maybe she really “went swimming.” So what? This is Southern California; do you know it has been over 100 degrees here the last few days? Doggies love to play in water in this heat!), but she was *microchipped*, and therefore easily identified by the NON PROFIT rescue organization that she was adopted from. They announced that THEIR volunteers found the dog on their own Facebook page. You really think dedicated animal-rescue VOLUNTEERS would participate in Tom Cruise-style cover-up and pay a puppy breeder to provide anyone, no matter who they were, with an identical “replacement” animal? Shame on you!!!!

  4. thebutcher says:

    Get the kid an actual dog and that won’t happen. Those things aren’t dogs when my smaller cat dwarfs it

  5. Renier Palland says:

    Thanks for the compliment.