Jennifer Aniston: Total Failure – Can’t Keep a Man or Carry a Movie

Jennifer Aniston: Total Failure - Can't Keep a Man or Carry a Movie

I know many consider Jennifer Aniston one of Hollywood’s sweethearts, but for my cinematic dollar, or $10 considering the going rate for movie tix these days, she’s a non-starter. Her box office track records clearly show Aniston is one of the most over-rated and overpaid actresses working today.

Her most recent offering Wanderlust (her flick with now-fiancé Justin Theroux) was an appalling flop. It sold less than 326 tickets at each theater on its opening weekend – that’s barely enough to fill one screening room one time.

Yes, Jennifer’s had a few successful films in recent years, but they were not films she headlined. Box office records show she’s just not bankable as a lead and can’t carry a film on her own – she’s never headlined a blockbuster hit! Perhaps she’s past her prime or audiences are just tired of her limited range and dull face.

Consider this – the only Jennifer Aniston movies that have been profitable are ones where she was paired with a bankable male comedic lead such as Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey, Along Came Polly with Ben Stiller, The Break-Up with Vince Vaughn and Just Go With It with Adam Sandler.

I want to single out Marley & Me and point out that Owen Wilson carried this movie and the dog outshone Aniston by fluffy leaps and bounds. Any actress could have stepped seamlessly into her lackluster showing as Wilson’s wife.

Most recently, Jen had a hit in Horrible Bosses – but had no more than a glorified cameo. Her role as horny dentist Julia was a caricature rather than a clever comedic turn – she was more awkward than sexy and her foul mouth dialogue served more to shock than entertain. The other bosses – played by Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrell – were fine-tuned hilarity that made her screen time pale by comparison.

The Switch, The Bounty Hunter, Management and Love Happens couldn’t even be salvaged by their male leads.  Friends with Money and He’s Just Not That Into You were successes – but again, they were ensemble pieces that weren’t reliant on Aniston for their success. Good thing too…

I’ll admit I watched Friends, but it was the ensemble that drew the audience – Jennifer Aniston would never be able to carry a TV show on her own any more than a movie. Can you imagine her trying to emulate Louis C.K. or a female-led drama such as ABC’s hit Revenge?

For me, the only film of Aniston’s I cared for was The Good Girl and it was John C. Reilly and Jake Gyllenhaal that made the indie film a hit – she was set decoration for those two brilliant actors in well-written roles.

With Jennifer Aniston’s consistently poor box office numbers and her inability to play anything other than a different aspect of her Rachel character, film studios should consider dropping her in favor of Angelina Jolie, just as Brad Pitt did… Since Jen lost Brad, she seems to have also lost whatever hit-making mojo she had.

Can we all just move on now please?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

  • Liza

    Totally agree, though Jen’s rabid fans will make up all sorts of excuses.
    That said, while Jen was the was the “worst” boss in Horrible bosses, she did a great job.
    P.S. Her screen time was 11 minutes for that 98 minute movie, so yes, it’s somewhere between a cameo and supporting role…nowhere near starring role as her fans like to claim.

  • Scotsgirl

    Maybe you should move on. Seriously ass wipe if you don’t like the lady then don’t go to her movies or read any articles about her. Why are you even writing about someone you appear to have such disdain for. You need to move on. Aniston appears to be doing quite well in both the love department and she is a working actress which says alot in this industry. So you continue to write your blogs for the internet I do not think Ms. Aniston is going to lose any sleep over your opinions of her

  • catita

    Totally agree. Jen needs aging naturally in order to get some interesting dramatic roles. But for any reason producers know perfectly well she can’t go forward next step. She is more focus in her look than actuation.

  • Coco

    Thank you!!! The facts speak for themselves!! Wish she would disappear!!! Overrated, overpaid, narcissist

  • Enoughalready

    You are just so showing hatred

  • justintheroux

    rachel rowan, you are a seriously nasty person. how do you live with yourself? i bet you are so pssst that aniston aint looking your way. you sound very in love with her

  • Diane

    For me it seems the writer of this article is quite jealous of Aniston and is trying to make some profit by writing a so very common and frequent bashing article of her. I am not a fan of Aniston, at the same time it is so irritating to read such articles full of scorn and hatred. I think she is a good actress, I like her in her roles, besides this comparison with Angelina Jolie, and bringing up the split with Brad Pitt all the time… again and again very tiring! And implying that it would be/was a good idea to drop someone (in this respect Aniston) on every front of life (in terms of job and love life) sounds so emotionally unhealthy.
    If you deny another person’s right to success and happiness you probably deny your own right to these things also and most probably have some self-acceptance problems that you radiate on a celebrity instead of trying to face it and solve it and finding a more serious and meaningful job than writing such dumb and boring articles about people you dont even know personally.
    Nevertheless, I am sure that even 20 years from now bashing Aniston will be still a favourite topic for people who just need to hate and feel contempt towards someone, anyone, in order to feel better about themselves in contrast to that person.

    • norah

      Nobody hates jennifer Aniston one just feels sorry for her on every level yes she has money but what else? Glittering movie career? Dont see any alist a tors or producers or directors or studios rushing to her?cake was financed by the chinese bte still unsold. Her looks? Hair looks messy and she is tanned all the time not easy to maintain though she tries.partner? Hmm guy loves her so much that he is in new york even not filming thats ok if they love each other gd for them does he seem like hes missing her and vice versa if I loved someone I wd want to be with that person as much as I can
      friends? Sure maybe -pple like chelsea handler interesting choice of a friend someone who apparently got her job at e with sleeping with the boss? Wow her life is so full but seriously I just pity her thats all.

  • jay

    This is a bit of a nasty and pointless article, it is completely unnecessary and it’s just random spewing of hatred towards an individual who not only hasn’t done anything to you, but that you don’t know on a personal level in any way. She is just a woman making a living and getting on with her life, if you don’t wish to see her movies, then don’t go to see them.
    While I agree that many of her movies are pretty bad, and though I wouldn’t consider myself a fan, she has shown considerable ability as an actress in some smaller indie films (i.e. Friends With Money) The point you made about The Good Girl is simply ridiculous, Aniston owned that film from start to finish, it was a terrific performance, your article lost all credibility when you suggested that she was a ‘set decoration’ for Reilly and Gyllenhaal in that film.
    You further lost any remaining morsel of credibility when you made your final point about Angelina Jolie. To drag up something like that made your article look silly, juvenile and bitter. Go and take a writing class or go to journalism school, because it’s this type of atrocious ‘journalism’ that gives the media a bad name.

  • Brangelina

    Rachel rowan, u don’t belong in this world…shame on you for being such a nasty person!!!

  • HatingU

    Hey bitch, please get a life!!!!!

  • Crystal

    Women who consider another woman a failure because “they can’t keep” a man is the real failure not to mention pathetic. Maybe you need a man to feel successful in life but many other women don’t. A man doesn’t define a woman’s self worth. As for Jennifer’s career, she may not be a box office draw but she still has a successful career. FYI: Angelina also plays the same type of character in all her movies and isn’t exactly a box office draw herself. So if your going to compare an actress you don’t like in an attempt to make her look like a loser, at least pick on whose career is not on the same level as her’s. Like Jennifer with the good girl, Angelina is incapable of playing anything other than the sexy bombshell vixen (which isn’t going to help her career when she’s too old to play that type of character).

  • Maggie

    Come on, folks. Don’t shoot the messenger. Just face it! The author of the article told the complete truth. I liked JA on “Friends” too, but she is just a plain Jane with a “pity” fan base that CANNOT act. She has tried everything – even baring her nipples and still no one can say she is all that hot. I get it, Brad dropped her for a truly beautiful woman who he had more in common with – namely the desire for a big family and a partner who shines in every movie that she has made (acting or directing) without having to plaster her face on the news and internet every time she possibly can. Jennifer is still doing whimsical, boring romantic comedies. She has no range re her acting. And finally, lets really tell the truth, Courteney Cox was the real beauty on “Friends”. Jennifer just got a decent haircut and has been relying on this to carry forward her whole career. She is the girl next door that is NOT the “sexiest woman alive” by any standards. Dream on…..

  • Starry

    Hi Rachel R. don’t let the few Jen Fans intimidate you from stepping out and telling the truth! You probably have received a lot of interesting rants from her chicken coop because they have been packaged and sold a lie that Aniston is something special when she is not. They always say how can you talk about another woman like that but don’t mind criticizing and spewing threats and hate on other women (no need to say who). You are very correct in your assessment and others agree totally that she has been fortunate to milk a certain life situation to her advantage but folks are no longer duped with the poor me dance or the new one “Hey I found a man to marry me” tour. Keep doing what you’re doing and one day soon hopefully Aniston will be just a bad memory for us all when she will be replaced by another actress who has actual true acting talent and not tabloid talent.

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  • Women should celebrate other successful women. What is this crabs in a bucket thing? Just stop.

  • cleangarry

    Happy Birthday Dear Jennifer !
    YOUR beauty and talent are GREAT !

  • Judith

    How on Earth can you say the Angelina Jolie’s films are any better? Have you looked at the Stats! Most of Jolie’s films were not box office hits and her acting (LOL) It’s just tight clothes/ not much or no clothes, Drugs, sex, & Violence with no real character acting!

  • norah

    The truth is that jennifer aniston thinks she is a movie star but shr belongs in tv there is more scope as well imo