Jennifer Aniston: Total Failure – Can’t Keep a Man or Carry a Movie

Jennifer Aniston: Total Failure - Can't Keep a Man or Carry a Movie

I know many consider Jennifer Aniston one of Hollywood’s sweethearts, but for my cinematic dollar, or $10 considering the going rate for movie tix these days, she’s a non-starter. Her box office track records clearly show Aniston is one of the most over-rated and overpaid actresses working today.

Her most recent offering Wanderlust (her flick with now-fiancé Justin Theroux) was an appalling flop. It sold less than 326 tickets at each theater on its opening weekend – that’s barely enough to fill one screening room one time.

Yes, Jennifer’s had a few successful films in recent years, but they were not films she headlined. Box office records show she’s just not bankable as a lead and can’t carry a film on her own – she’s never headlined a blockbuster hit! Perhaps she’s past her prime or audiences are just tired of her limited range and dull face.

Consider this – the only Jennifer Aniston movies that have been profitable are ones where she was paired with a bankable male comedic lead such as Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey, Along Came Polly with Ben Stiller, The Break-Up with Vince Vaughn and Just Go With It with Adam Sandler.

I want to single out Marley & Me and point out that Owen Wilson carried this movie and the dog outshone Aniston by fluffy leaps and bounds. Any actress could have stepped seamlessly into her lackluster showing as Wilson’s wife.

Most recently, Jen had a hit in Horrible Bosses – but had no more than a glorified cameo. Her role as horny dentist Julia was a caricature rather than a clever comedic turn – she was more awkward than sexy and her foul mouth dialogue served more to shock than entertain. The other bosses – played by Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrell – were fine-tuned hilarity that made her screen time pale by comparison.

The Switch, The Bounty Hunter, Management and Love Happens couldn’t even be salvaged by their male leads.  Friends with Money and He’s Just Not That Into You were successes – but again, they were ensemble pieces that weren’t reliant on Aniston for their success. Good thing too…

I’ll admit I watched Friends, but it was the ensemble that drew the audience – Jennifer Aniston would never be able to carry a TV show on her own any more than a movie. Can you imagine her trying to emulate Louis C.K. or a female-led drama such as ABC’s hit Revenge?

For me, the only film of Aniston’s I cared for was The Good Girl and it was John C. Reilly and Jake Gyllenhaal that made the indie film a hit – she was set decoration for those two brilliant actors in well-written roles.

With Jennifer Aniston’s consistently poor box office numbers and her inability to play anything other than a different aspect of her Rachel character, film studios should consider dropping her in favor of Angelina Jolie, just as Brad Pitt did… Since Jen lost Brad, she seems to have also lost whatever hit-making mojo she had.

Can we all just move on now please?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

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