Kristen Stewart Uses Kinky Videos To Keep Robert Pattinson Loyal In Australia (Video)

Kristen Stewart Uses Kinky Videos To Keep Robert Pattinson Loyal In Australia (Video)

Robert Pattinson is jetting off to Australia to start filming his new movie, The Rover, but the distance doesn’t worry Kristen Stewart! Despite a severely rocky road since their fall reconciliation, she’s confidant that keeping Robert from leaving her will be a piece of cake. No—she isn’t following him down under! We reported that Kristen has already trained Rob to be her super freaky sex slave, and it looks like she’ll be employing similar tactics to hold on to her man while he’s half a world away. That’s right—in typical, shallow, Kristen fashion, we expect her to invest in top-of-the-line camera set ups to ensure the still have (cyber) sex seven times a day!

Rob seems quite eager to start his new movie, which comes off as strange! Sure, it could be a great plot, but that’s what he thought about Cosmopolis, isn’t it? And that tanked! At this point, Rob needs every bit of help he can muster to save his acting career, and Kristen is the key to the puzzle. He described the plot of his new movie during a Golden Globes interview. “I’m an American who’s part of a criminal gang in Australia. Guy Pearce’s character kind of kidnaps me, to try and find my brother. Other than that, it’s really complicated! But it’s cool.” It doesn’t sound that thrilling to me, but perhaps it will be the next big hit. Or perhaps it will follow all his other films straight to the rubbish bin!

No matter if the movie is set up for failure though, he’ll still be in Australia, and Kristen will still be working overtime to keep her talons in him! I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t so much trickery on her part as it is symbiosis. Kristen gets a relationship and lots of sex out of the deal—and think about it, the only way she’d ever get a man again would be another cycle of exploitation, considering the state of her roots!—and Rob get’s her name attached to his. It offers his weird films a bit of a box office boost, and I’m sure he’s hoping that, one day, his obscure films will become cult classics and he’ll be able to leave the trampire! Does their relationship reek of rot to you too? Does Kristen need to pull out all the stops and host a digital get down (N*Sync throw back—anyone?) to keep Rob, or is he just as eager to stay in the relationship?

Editor’s Note: Reports just out say Rob has wisely dumped Trampire again – so it might take more than phone sex to save the relationship.

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