The boy band culture, with its formulaic pop beats and baby eyed chest pumping, is the music industry’s most profitable genre. The equation is simple: throw together a group of stereotypical pop singers, wash their faces with clever editing, and ensure a constant OMGshirtless leak on Twitter. Sit back, smile, and become a millionaire. Repeat this process five hundred times.
However, this pedestrian equation isn’t complete without a drug deal there and drug deal here.
One Direction – those dudes with the fat smiles and kinky tats – is the biggest boy band in recent history. The X-Factor UK (damn you reality television!) gave painful birth to these misfits with their vapid vocals, but instead of becoming reality television fodder, these youngsters managed to become more famous than God.
Nowadays, they spend their money on fast cars, pretentious parties, and weed. No more pocket money for a lollipop!
According to a secret source, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson were pictured smoking the green on a private yacht, but the evidence wasn’t in the smoke. No, no. A rather fat joint was spotted mere centimeters away from Louis’ pink-eye, pre-munchies face. It was big and nasty and fat, like Khloe Kardashian in her sad-eating days. Luckily for One Direction, this was only weed… But for all we know, these young rebels could be sniffling in bathrooms across America.
Tsk, tsk, boys. You should know that weed doesn’t make a boy band beautiful; PR does that.
Do you think they’re smoking the green? Do you think One Direction should tone it down a bit? Or is this just an innocent pastime which they should enjoy? Do you think this could destroy their clean image? Will this cost them a few fans? We’d love to hear from you, so let us know your thoughts in the comments below.