Taylor Swift has a crush on Chris Martin and intends to date him – this means stealing him from Jennifer Lawrence and/or Gwyneth Paltrow! It’s surprising that it took the tabloids this long to concoct this story. Taylor Swift knows Gwyneth Paltrow, she’s friends with Jennifer Lawrence, and she has a thing for older douchey singers. So OF COURSE the tabloids have started claiming that Taylor Swift has a ‘crush’ on Chris Martin, never mind the fact that she would never betray Jennifer Lawrence and Gwyneth Paltrow. Taylor Swift might be a lot of things, but she always puts her friendships before anything else [see also: Selena Gomez].
Anyway, the report from Star Magazine claims that Taylor never expressed her long-hidden feelings for Chris Martin out of respect for his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, and now, out of respect for his girlfriend, Jennifer Lawrence. Right.
You know, I’m sure Taylor actually does have a crush on Chris Martin. Taylor’s one of those people who has a small crush on EVERYONE, including that weird bald dude from that random indie rock band. And if Chris Martin was unattached, not married, not a dad, and not dating one of her friends, then I’m sure she would go after that. Unfortunately, all of those things are true, and Chris Martin is firmly off limits if she’s going to stick to her ‘friends first’ feminist mantra.
Besides, let’s give Taylor Swift slightly more credit than that. She’s managed to stay single for more than a year to fix her public image, and she’s not going to undo all that hard work for someone like Chris Martin.
Don’t you guys agree? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Taylor Swift leaves her apartment on November 13, 2014 in New York City, New York. Taylor’s friend Lorde came to her defense yesterday, after she was attacked on Twitter by Diplo, Katy Perry’s boyfriend. It began when Diplo took a crack at Swift, suggesting “Someone should make a kickstarter to get taylor swift a booty.” After seeing the post, Lorde knocked some wind out of his sails with this: “@diplo should we do something about your tiny penis while we’re at it hm.” FameFlynet